My Amazing McCiting Life

I woke up at precisely 6 am and jumped out of McBed, I knew it was going to be an absolutely McGreat day. I brushed my McTeeth, had a McShower and put on my McClothes and went to McWork. When I got to my McDesk, I saw that there were a pile of important McPapers waiting to be signed, the life of the McMayor is not a simple one, it's generally pretty McHectic.

Other than nearly choking on a cold chunk of dry McAnimal carcass at lunch time, the day went relatively McSmooth, The McMayor likes McSmoothness, I sure don't like McBumpy. I counted down the McMinutes until 4 pm, for that night I had a big McDate with a pair of special ladies that set my McHeart on McFire: That's right, the McMullet twins.

I have had my eye on Bertha and Hank McMullet (Hank is short form for Hankella) for years, they are McOpticians at the Eye Barn in Downtown Mitchieville. From the first time I spotted those two McLovely, McHairy women, they have consumed my McPassion and my McThoughts night and day. I think it's fair to say that every time I think of them I get a McBoner. Ya, a McBoner, there's no taking those McWords back.

I arrived at the Mitchieville McTrailer Park on Wayfair and McMunsey at 7 pm sharp. The McMullet twins were waiting for me, Bertha was sitting on a reinforced McSwing while Hank was sitting patiently in a McSandbox, playing with rocks and listening to her 2 gig McIpod. They both looked McStunning, dressed to kill in their matching McMoomoo's and McBonnets. Bertha wasn't wearing any McUnderwear, The McMayor can tell these things (On a side note: Bertha has her pubic area shaped in the form of a Nascar--Jeff Gordons if I'm not mistaken).

We decided to go to McDominos for a slice of McPizza, everyone with a living brain cell knows that MCDominos McRules the universe, and that anyone who disagrees should be gangsplashed by McSatan and his drooling McMinions. We all ate McPepperoni slices and gazed into each others McWandering eyes. The only times our mouths opened was to McBurp or to pick McRemnants from each others dirty McTeeth. Sometimes McWords aren't necessary, this was one of those McTimes.

From there we went McBowling, I bowled two McPerfect 300's while Hank dropped a McBall on her large McFoot and Bertha laughed until a trickle of McBlood dripped from the corner of her McHerpe filled mouth.

After McBowling, we all decided to go to McDairy Queen for an enjoyable and refreshing McBlizzard. I got my McBlizzard for free, it was a deal I got because I signed up for the McDairy Queens email club (only a McIdiot wouldn't take advantage of such an amazing McDeal). Bertha ordered her McBlizzard with McOreos and cheese, Hank had hers with Smarties and broccoli. As for myself, I was McVomiting in the McJohn the whole time, I must have had a McFilthy slice of McPizza, my stomach was McFucking killing me.

After the McFood, we all went back to the McManor and braided each others McBack hair. If anyone ever tells you that McBack hair isn't sexy on a woman, you tell them that you know better, McBack hair rules, only McCommies would think otherwise. Then the three of us had McDirty sex....with each other.

After our McAmazing 7 minute session, my McSweethearts were drained. That's because I have this fetish where it really McTurns me on to drain the McBlood of McHairy women. I didn't have the energy to drive them home, so I called a super-sized McCab for them. I know, I really am a McGentleman.

That's just one McDay in my exciting life, I hope you enjoyed it, I know I sure as McHell did.