Oral Sex Linked To Throat Cancer

A John Hopkins study has revealed that a person is 9 times more likely to develop throat cancer if they have had oral with more than 6 partners:

A virus contracted through oral sex is the cause of some throat cancers, say US scientists.
HPV infection was found to be a much stronger risk factor than tobacco or alcohol use, the Johns Hopkins University study of 300 people found.

I'm sure most of Mitchieville's readership just pooed their pants.

That can't be right, what about people that have had oral sex with say....ah.....200 partners? Does that mean they're 6 thousand times more likely to develop throat cancer? Why can't I stop sweating? Why do I suddenly desire a Fisherman's Friend? Why do I want a Minister to read me Psalm 23?

Here's is another factoid that the sadists at John Hopkins would like you to know:

HPV infection is the cause of the majority of cervical cancers, and 80% of sexually active women can expect to have an HPV infection at some point in their lives.

All of a sudden masturbation seems very sexy.

It's official, you have a better chance at finding a person with a full set of teeth at a Willy Nelson concert than finding a disease-less woman.

Oh well, life sucks. Not for me, but for everyone else. I think the strangest part of this whole thing, is now that you are armed with this knowledge, the next time you're getting oral, you won't be able to concentrate on the deed taking place, you'll only be able to concentrate on that Willy Nelson remark I just made. Let's face it, that was pretty funny...an oldie but a goodie.