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Friday, November 17, 2006

Retraction and Apology

We, The Collective of Mitchieville, do apologize to those members of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers who were offended by the post (since removed) entitled "The Evil Apprentice" (subtitled How to make electroshock equipment for work and play).

As soon as it was apparent that serious technical errors were present in the post, the responsible adults took the initiative to remove the post, pending an investigation.

We, The Collective of Mitchieville, now realize that a Journeyman Electrician is fully capable of participating and deriving benefit from electroshock therapy, whether delivered by a licensed professional through the Ontario Health Care Plan, or by an enthusiastic amateur using home made equipment. At no time has scientific evidence been produced that shows Journeymen Electricians have skulls thicker than average, nor tissues with an abnormally high resistance to electroshock voltages in the 375 to 475 volt range. Indeed, the assumption that the magnetic permeance of the average Journeyman's frontal lobes is eight percent lower than that of, say, a chipmunk, due to chronic exposure to ethanol and tetrahydracannibol is poetic license, not Global Warming science.

It should be noted that the equipment designs in the post all conformed to the Electrical Safety Code of Ontario, and the Alchemists Guild of Medicine Guidelines. As the equipment was made using materials in the public domain (ten gauge wire, transformer from a coffee maker, wall light switch, and fetish ball gag), in no way could a violation of the Secret Health Care Agreement be considered. Under principle XIII of the Telemarketers Code, the author of the post cannot be considered in violation of any pre-existing statute, owing to the over riding nature of the Code.

As such, we offer an apology. It is hoped that the supply of a grievance counsellor, several boxes of tissues, and a book of tickets to the Pleasure Center, will show how sorry We, The Collective of Mitchieville, are.

We, The Collective of Mitchieville, wrote this. We all care.

posted by The Mayor at 2:04 PM

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