Angelina Jolie Buys Bansky

Angelina Jolie, best known for adopting babies from *scratch and dent baby sales* (there are always terrific bargains there), has now adopted some Bansky paintings to the tune of $400,000. Here are some of the gems Angelina purchased:

A $75,000 purchase - a white bust with a bleeding bullet hole in the forehead - was a particular favorite of Jolie's. "She went nuts for that one," an onlooker told the mag. "She told [her baby daddy], 'I must have that one.'"

For another cool $75,000, she picked up a portrait of a man hit in the head with a custard pie.

Classics, every last one of them. However, the biggest purchase has some not-so-subtle underpinnings:

A $226,000 painting - titled "Picnic" - depicts a white family of four merrily lunching under an umbrella on a red checked blanket while 15 starving Africans - including several children with distended bellies - look on.

Yes, I get it now, Angelina, white people are shit.

Finally I understand the two things in life that will get me a seat at any Angelina Jolie dinner party: White people are savage assholes that love to see brown people suffer, and, one day we will all be adopted by Angelina Jolie.

Where was Brad *yes dear, yes dear, three fucking bags full dear* Pitt when all this was going down, you ask? Most likely cowering in the corner of the art gallery repairing his bleeding back from the intense pussy whipping his insane bitch of a girlfriend gave him.

Angelina Jolie, the world's most beautiful demented head

A Use My Computer pic