America's Next Gay Anchorman

A poll conducted by BEtUs.com on which Anchor will come out of the closet had some not-so-startling results:

Bill O’Reilly 18%
Anderson Cooper 41%
Shepard Smith 22%
Brian Williams 10%
Katie Couric 4%
Other 5%

Before I read this, I honestly though that Anderson Cooper was already out of the closet. I could have sworn I saw him in an interview with a Marine the other day and he asked a few questions like, "How hard is it being on the front line on the war on terror?", and then he dropped to his knees and tried to blow the guy. Perhaps it was a bad dream, but it just seems so real.

I predict Anderson Cooper will declare his gayosity within the next year, when it's sweeps week. I also predict it will be fabulous. I also predict he will be heralded as a hero and many parades will be held in his honour. I also predict he will tell the world that he has been having crazy-ass threesomes with Lance Bass and John Travolta.

Eat your heart out Will Ferrell