My Son Has Poison Ivy

My youngest legitimate child was playing in the woods with a friend last week when he came in contact with poison ivy. It's very sad, his whole stomach is covered with red spots and welts. It looks as if he has been partying with Paris Hilton. I've tried everything I know to fix his problem. I've given him open and closed punches to the gut, I've hit him with a stick, and I've kneed him in the belly continuously for 5 days staight. Nothing seems to help.

Can you help my son?