I could see this happening at *Queens* university, but not McGill

Gay penguins have nothing on these guys:

MONTREAL -- McGill University is investigating "conflicting versions" after a rookie football player alleged he was sodomized with a broomstick during an initiation ritual.

The 18-year-old rookie has said he was assaulted by a veteran player of the McGill Redmen while other team veterans looked on and cheered.

The 18-year-old has said he was taken to a darkened squash court in late August and told to remove his trousers and get on his hands and knees before being sodomized with the broomstick.

"I don't know if I will ever be able to play football again," he told the Montreal Gazette.

Never mind playing football, he'll be lucky to ever shit right again.

Shaving a guys eyebrows when he's passed out is one thing, but this is demented.

The captain of the McGill Redmen football team has said although rookies were taken to the squash courts, the allegation is a "complete lie."

"We would never do anything like that, ever -- no alcohol, no one was completely naked, no one ever complained until now," said Matt Connell.

No one was completely naked? Oh Christ, I don't like the sounds of this at all.

What is it with the hazing process that has to involve making another man get naked? I play hockey and football and all sorts of sports, but never once have I ever thought "Gee, we should grab Marty, take off his clothes and insert household products up his ass".

"Anal probing of any sort happened to absolutely nobody," Connell told CBC Radio in Montreal on Thursday.

Does anyone else's ass cheeks go inward when you read the words "anal probing?"

I'm praying that this incident is a lie. If it's not, then the whole team should be suspended for the entire year and charges have to be layed laid immediately.

Now I'm going to go into my bathroom and weep for our youth.

Article via Neale news