Crazy Fun Soft Much Awesome Football Picks! Week 3
The following post is up at Brown Missiles, I'm just going to add my picks at the bottom of each game. I was going to get Dickie the Greek to make his picks, but let's face it, the guy is too good, it would be embarrassing.
If you're interested in adding your pics, let me know and I'll add you to the growing list of degenerates currently on here.
I'm not sure what the stakes are for this game, but I think if I lose I have to post the winners ass on my site. I've seen these people, for the love of God I better win.
Alright, it has.....BEGUN! Still waiting on the guy who started all this (Mr. Slag) and the Mayor. Awesome surprise in my e-mail. No. Not my Viagra prescription, Amber Alert sent his picks! Thanks, homey. Oh, and apparently he's got 10 bucks on this. Don't know how to set that up. Plus I don't have ten bucks. If somebody can send me a chart like the one they use on ESPN, we'll use the same type of chart.
That way we can track things this weekend a bit easier. Thanks!
Sunday, Sep. 25
Atlanta at Buffalo 1:00 p.m
Rycrisp- Vick has owies. Buffalo has J.P. Losman (still stuck in my head!) throwing for them. I'm going with Buffalo and their O.J. uniforms, their gonna KILL Atlanta! Hahahahaha...ohhh...sorry.
-Lil' Brudder Karl- Vick is hurt, Mcgahee is a pimp. Buffalo takes this.
-Amber Alert- Falcons over Bills
The Mayor--Daddy always told me that when choosing who's going to win a football game, always go with the city that the women have the worst hair.
Buffalo wins hands down.
Carolina at Miami 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Grrrr row wowrrrr!! Hopefully the Panthers aren't too full of themselves after beating NE (thank you very much). Miami let me down in NY. I hope the Panthers and their 1986 style take down the dolphins. Isn't Ricky back soon? I can't wait. Do they play against the Raiders? Do you think he and Moss will get together? "Hey Randy." "Hey Ricky" "Dude....we both have R names that end in y! Neeeeeyahahahahaha!!" "That's so awwweesommmme!!! Let's eat these brownies I made. Put this mask on." So yeah. Panthers.
-Lil' Brudder Karl- uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Carolina
-Amber Alert- Panthers over Dolphins
The Mayor--Carolina takes it, Dolphins are only good for eating.
Cincinnati at Chicago 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Is the Chicago Bear getting his temp checked? Look at him! "Where's that thermometer going to go..ohhhhhhhrrraarrrrrr!!!" Chicago has the stifling Defense...Cinci has Senor Palmer/ Johnson squared/ Hakunamatata....and Palmer. Too much. I like The Bengals in this one.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Palm Palm Palmer takes the bears D down. Cincie wins it.
-Amber Alert- Bears over Bengals
The Mayor--Going with Cinncinn, Palmer with throw for over 2700 yards.
Cleveland at Indianapolis 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Trent effing Dilfer. We miss you in Seattle...it's scary without you. Prince is backing up Matt....but it's good to see you doing so well. Indy's defense looks like the real deal. During Cleveland's game at Lambeau Retirement Home, they socked it to the geezers. I'm taking Indy. I hope I'm wrong.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Indy. Is there any need for an explanation?
-Amber Alert- Colts over Ryan's Underwear
The Mayor--I've never even heard of Cleveland, except on Family guy--Indy in a romp.
Jacksonville at N.Y. Jets 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Remember that show Growing Pains? Byron Leftwitch should star in the remake. It'll be called Groin Pains. He's got boo-boos...but dammit, that dude is tough. Penny...I don't care what people are saying. His arm is going to stay attached...to the football and seperate from his body. And L. Coles...woah. Groin Pains wins.
Lil' Brudder Karl- This one is tough. Chad showed he is not done (Ryan). Martin is still looking for a good game. Byron is a straight out bad ass. Martin breaks one off in the Jags ass and the jets take it.
-Amber Alert- Jets over Jags
The Mayor--Although I'd rather fornicate Rosie O'Donnel until she explodes than see the Jets win, bring on Rosie, the Jets are gonna win.
New Orleans at Minnesota 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- BOOOOOOOOOOO..ooooo...ooo....(breathe in) BOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Are the people in Minnesota celebrating Halloween early? Nope. They are PISSED. Dante is looking worse than Amber Alert after a night of Jesus Juice and Marlboros. Are they looking to rally? I dunno. The Saints have gotten totally effed over this season. Hurricane Tagliabue just won't let up. I think Minnesota takes this one. Mike Tice needs to concentrate on getting Mewelde Moore into the game and not who the highest bidder on Ebay is for his Super Bowl tix.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Dante needs to either get off the drugs or get back on them. Moore is in the same boat as Dante. America's team is going to take this game with an ass whooping. Minnesota is due to get their shit together but it wont be this week.
-Amber Alert- Vikings over Katrina
The Mayor--New Orleans already won this year, I'm picking the Vikes
Oakland at Philadelphia 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Terrell Owens is playing against his future team. Iggles win.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Last year it was Philly hands down. Now it is tough. Still Philly though
-Amber Alert- Raiders over Eagles (That's right bitches)
The Mayor--The Raiders will end up being the best 0-3 team that there is---Philly eats them up faster than Michael Moore on a cheese-steak sandwich.
Tampa Bay at Green Bay 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Oh man! Battle of the Bays! Who's Favre's back up? I don't know...but we'll be finding out soon. The Bucs defense is going to force Favre to fill his diapers 3 times before the half. Then Cadillac is going to continue his ROTY campaign. How many passes will slip out of Brett's hands? You know, those ones where he goes to throw and it just falls behind his shoulder and bounces off his back. I LOVE that. I say four.
Lil' Brudder Karl- No matter what everyone else thinks. Favre is not done, He is going to be pissed and blow up the scoreboard. Green bay
-Amber Alert- TB over GB
The Mayor--Tampa wins, and Favre buys a vowel for his last name.
Tennessee at St. Louis 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Tough one. The Titans defense made Jamal Lewis their bitch last week. He was smuggling smokes in his ass for them. St. Louis has a MUCH stronger O-Line, though. But the Rams defense is crap. So I think this game is going to be an offensive battle...one that Old Man McNair and co are gonna win. Bulger has a nervous tick. He blinks. A LOT.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Mcnair is going to put up some numbers and I hate Bulger so Titans take this
-Amber Alert- Titans over Rams
The Mayor--I hate this game, if it had a face I'd loogie lung over it, but it doesn't, so I pick St. Louis.
Arizona at Seattle 4:05 p.m.
Rycrisp- Kurt Warner is going to hand out autographed bibles before the game. Doesn't it make sense that he plays for the Cardinals? Seattle wins...Engram...big game. Please bring back Taco Wallace.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Seattle. What more can I say. Alexander is good for 150 and 2 TDs
-Amber Alert- Seahawks over God's Cardinals (I mean Kurt Warner's Cardinals)
The Mayor--Seattle has to win this one, I'm pretty sure...no wait!!!! Naw, let's go with Seattle.
Dallas at San Francisco 4:05 p.m.
Rycrisp- Somebody on the 'Niners has garn'teed a victory. For SF. Unless he's talking about when SF plays Green Bay, he's wrong. Dallas and Double J aren't going to forget the diseased blankets like they did last game. Cowboys win.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Dallas. I don't care who wins but Dallas takes it.
-Amber Alert- Dallas over SF
The Mayor--As much as it pains me to say this, Dallas will win.
New England at Pittsburgh 4:15 p.m.
Rycrisp- NE struggled against Oakland. Lost to Carolina (thank you very much) and will now be on a streak. A LOSING streak. Big Ben and Fast Willie, they gay porn duo, win.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Big Ben baby. Fuck NE. They are going down. (rycrisp- tell us how you REALLY feel, Kyle).
-Amber Alert- Steelers over Pats
The Mayor--Game of the frickin' week. Not only will Pitt win, but Brady is going to get kicked so hard in the testicles that blood will come out of his urine.
N.Y. Giants at San Diego 8:30 p.m.
Rycrisp- I hope SD wears the powder blues. Because they want to dress up for their first win of the year. Eli didn't wanna play in SD. Thank god. He would've ruined the Chargers for me. He's ruined the Giants for me. Get Avian Flu, Eli.
Lil' Brudder Karl- LT, Brees, Gates. It is over Eli. Oh and screw you Eli…I hate you. Chargers
-Amber Alert- Bolts over Eli
The Mayor--Going with San Diego. God have mercy on my soul.
Monday, Sep. 26
Kansas City at Denver 9:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Denver's backfield is messier than an hourly hotels sheets. They just brought Lil' Q. Griffin back. Yikes. On the flip side, KC has one of the best backfields in the NFL. I think Jake is gonna be showing the finger again. I hope. KC wins.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Denver has a decent D. Kansas has arguably the best offense in the league. KC takes it by a mile.
-Amber Alert- KC over the Sunshine Band (Denver)
The Mayor--Taking K.C. on this one. And after the game is over I'm burning my Denver Hayes trousers.
If you're interested in adding your pics, let me know and I'll add you to the growing list of degenerates currently on here.
I'm not sure what the stakes are for this game, but I think if I lose I have to post the winners ass on my site. I've seen these people, for the love of God I better win.
Alright, it has.....BEGUN! Still waiting on the guy who started all this (Mr. Slag) and the Mayor. Awesome surprise in my e-mail. No. Not my Viagra prescription, Amber Alert sent his picks! Thanks, homey. Oh, and apparently he's got 10 bucks on this. Don't know how to set that up. Plus I don't have ten bucks. If somebody can send me a chart like the one they use on ESPN, we'll use the same type of chart.
That way we can track things this weekend a bit easier. Thanks!
Sunday, Sep. 25
Atlanta at Buffalo 1:00 p.m
Rycrisp- Vick has owies. Buffalo has J.P. Losman (still stuck in my head!) throwing for them. I'm going with Buffalo and their O.J. uniforms, their gonna KILL Atlanta! Hahahahaha...ohhh...sorry.
-Lil' Brudder Karl- Vick is hurt, Mcgahee is a pimp. Buffalo takes this.
-Amber Alert- Falcons over Bills
The Mayor--Daddy always told me that when choosing who's going to win a football game, always go with the city that the women have the worst hair.
Buffalo wins hands down.
Carolina at Miami 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Grrrr row wowrrrr!! Hopefully the Panthers aren't too full of themselves after beating NE (thank you very much). Miami let me down in NY. I hope the Panthers and their 1986 style take down the dolphins. Isn't Ricky back soon? I can't wait. Do they play against the Raiders? Do you think he and Moss will get together? "Hey Randy." "Hey Ricky" "Dude....we both have R names that end in y! Neeeeeyahahahahaha!!" "That's so awwweesommmme!!! Let's eat these brownies I made. Put this mask on." So yeah. Panthers.
-Lil' Brudder Karl- uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Carolina
-Amber Alert- Panthers over Dolphins
The Mayor--Carolina takes it, Dolphins are only good for eating.
Cincinnati at Chicago 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Is the Chicago Bear getting his temp checked? Look at him! "Where's that thermometer going to go..ohhhhhhhrrraarrrrrr!!!" Chicago has the stifling Defense...Cinci has Senor Palmer/ Johnson squared/ Hakunamatata....and Palmer. Too much. I like The Bengals in this one.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Palm Palm Palmer takes the bears D down. Cincie wins it.
-Amber Alert- Bears over Bengals
The Mayor--Going with Cinncinn, Palmer with throw for over 2700 yards.
Cleveland at Indianapolis 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Trent effing Dilfer. We miss you in Seattle...it's scary without you. Prince is backing up Matt....but it's good to see you doing so well. Indy's defense looks like the real deal. During Cleveland's game at Lambeau Retirement Home, they socked it to the geezers. I'm taking Indy. I hope I'm wrong.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Indy. Is there any need for an explanation?
-Amber Alert- Colts over Ryan's Underwear
The Mayor--I've never even heard of Cleveland, except on Family guy--Indy in a romp.
Jacksonville at N.Y. Jets 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Remember that show Growing Pains? Byron Leftwitch should star in the remake. It'll be called Groin Pains. He's got boo-boos...but dammit, that dude is tough. Penny...I don't care what people are saying. His arm is going to stay attached...to the football and seperate from his body. And L. Coles...woah. Groin Pains wins.
Lil' Brudder Karl- This one is tough. Chad showed he is not done (Ryan). Martin is still looking for a good game. Byron is a straight out bad ass. Martin breaks one off in the Jags ass and the jets take it.
-Amber Alert- Jets over Jags
The Mayor--Although I'd rather fornicate Rosie O'Donnel until she explodes than see the Jets win, bring on Rosie, the Jets are gonna win.
New Orleans at Minnesota 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- BOOOOOOOOOOO..ooooo...ooo....(breathe in) BOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Are the people in Minnesota celebrating Halloween early? Nope. They are PISSED. Dante is looking worse than Amber Alert after a night of Jesus Juice and Marlboros. Are they looking to rally? I dunno. The Saints have gotten totally effed over this season. Hurricane Tagliabue just won't let up. I think Minnesota takes this one. Mike Tice needs to concentrate on getting Mewelde Moore into the game and not who the highest bidder on Ebay is for his Super Bowl tix.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Dante needs to either get off the drugs or get back on them. Moore is in the same boat as Dante. America's team is going to take this game with an ass whooping. Minnesota is due to get their shit together but it wont be this week.
-Amber Alert- Vikings over Katrina
The Mayor--New Orleans already won this year, I'm picking the Vikes
Oakland at Philadelphia 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Terrell Owens is playing against his future team. Iggles win.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Last year it was Philly hands down. Now it is tough. Still Philly though
-Amber Alert- Raiders over Eagles (That's right bitches)
The Mayor--The Raiders will end up being the best 0-3 team that there is---Philly eats them up faster than Michael Moore on a cheese-steak sandwich.
Tampa Bay at Green Bay 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Oh man! Battle of the Bays! Who's Favre's back up? I don't know...but we'll be finding out soon. The Bucs defense is going to force Favre to fill his diapers 3 times before the half. Then Cadillac is going to continue his ROTY campaign. How many passes will slip out of Brett's hands? You know, those ones where he goes to throw and it just falls behind his shoulder and bounces off his back. I LOVE that. I say four.
Lil' Brudder Karl- No matter what everyone else thinks. Favre is not done, He is going to be pissed and blow up the scoreboard. Green bay
-Amber Alert- TB over GB
The Mayor--Tampa wins, and Favre buys a vowel for his last name.
Tennessee at St. Louis 1:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Tough one. The Titans defense made Jamal Lewis their bitch last week. He was smuggling smokes in his ass for them. St. Louis has a MUCH stronger O-Line, though. But the Rams defense is crap. So I think this game is going to be an offensive battle...one that Old Man McNair and co are gonna win. Bulger has a nervous tick. He blinks. A LOT.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Mcnair is going to put up some numbers and I hate Bulger so Titans take this
-Amber Alert- Titans over Rams
The Mayor--I hate this game, if it had a face I'd loogie lung over it, but it doesn't, so I pick St. Louis.
Arizona at Seattle 4:05 p.m.
Rycrisp- Kurt Warner is going to hand out autographed bibles before the game. Doesn't it make sense that he plays for the Cardinals? Seattle wins...Engram...big game. Please bring back Taco Wallace.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Seattle. What more can I say. Alexander is good for 150 and 2 TDs
-Amber Alert- Seahawks over God's Cardinals (I mean Kurt Warner's Cardinals)
The Mayor--Seattle has to win this one, I'm pretty sure...no wait!!!! Naw, let's go with Seattle.
Dallas at San Francisco 4:05 p.m.
Rycrisp- Somebody on the 'Niners has garn'teed a victory. For SF. Unless he's talking about when SF plays Green Bay, he's wrong. Dallas and Double J aren't going to forget the diseased blankets like they did last game. Cowboys win.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Dallas. I don't care who wins but Dallas takes it.
-Amber Alert- Dallas over SF
The Mayor--As much as it pains me to say this, Dallas will win.
New England at Pittsburgh 4:15 p.m.
Rycrisp- NE struggled against Oakland. Lost to Carolina (thank you very much) and will now be on a streak. A LOSING streak. Big Ben and Fast Willie, they gay porn duo, win.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Big Ben baby. Fuck NE. They are going down. (rycrisp- tell us how you REALLY feel, Kyle).
-Amber Alert- Steelers over Pats
The Mayor--Game of the frickin' week. Not only will Pitt win, but Brady is going to get kicked so hard in the testicles that blood will come out of his urine.
N.Y. Giants at San Diego 8:30 p.m.
Rycrisp- I hope SD wears the powder blues. Because they want to dress up for their first win of the year. Eli didn't wanna play in SD. Thank god. He would've ruined the Chargers for me. He's ruined the Giants for me. Get Avian Flu, Eli.
Lil' Brudder Karl- LT, Brees, Gates. It is over Eli. Oh and screw you Eli…I hate you. Chargers
-Amber Alert- Bolts over Eli
The Mayor--Going with San Diego. God have mercy on my soul.
Monday, Sep. 26
Kansas City at Denver 9:00 p.m.
Rycrisp- Denver's backfield is messier than an hourly hotels sheets. They just brought Lil' Q. Griffin back. Yikes. On the flip side, KC has one of the best backfields in the NFL. I think Jake is gonna be showing the finger again. I hope. KC wins.
Lil' Brudder Karl- Denver has a decent D. Kansas has arguably the best offense in the league. KC takes it by a mile.
-Amber Alert- KC over the Sunshine Band (Denver)
The Mayor--Taking K.C. on this one. And after the game is over I'm burning my Denver Hayes trousers.
posted by The Mayor at 4:41 PM
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