Giant squids are pornorific

New research shows that giant squids are violent sexual predators that don't mind *changing sides* when need be. Some of the research includes these gems:

"Although mating has never been observed in giant squid, it is thought that what happens is that the male injects his sperm packages into the female's arms. The process is likely to be a fairly violent affair as the female is probably not that keen on being injected. This is a problem for the amorous male as females are normally a third bigger than they are.

Sort of like the behaviour I see at cougar bars, the main difference though is that usually it's the cougar who is fairly violent.

"But males get round their inferior size by being endowed with a particularly long penis, which means they can inject the female without having to get too close to her chomping beak. The male's sexual organ is actually a bit like a high-pressure fire hose and is normally nearly as long as his body - excluding legs and head.

Keep in mind that the giant squid can be 60 foot long and weigh 2000 lbs. That makes for one hell of a penis.

Any life-form whose penis is best described as a *high-pressure firehose* will get my respect every time. That's pretty impressive when you can impregnate someone from a different time zone.

Female squids must tremble in fear when they see flagpole dick squid approaching them. They must be like "Damn, I aint gonna be able to sit down comfortably for 3 months".

"But having such a big penis does have one drawback: it seems that co-ordinating eight legs, two feeding tentacles and a huge penis, whilst fending off an irate female, is a bit too much to ask, and one of the two males stranded on the Spanish coast had accidentally injected himself with sperm packages in the legs and body.

In other words, he fucked himself.

"Ouch, what the hell just poked me? OMG, it was my penis". If I had a nickel for every time that happened, I'd have, well, no money actually.

"It is also possible that the sperm packages had come from other males that they had 'bumped' into, in the dark depths of the ocean. However, the sperm packages ended up in the squid.

"So, what do you want to do tonight, you wanna go trolling for some squid babes?"

"Sure, why don't we go down to the..."

"HEY, did you just fuck me?"

"What?"

"Did you just fuck me? My arm is killing me, and you just bumped me"

"Haha, yes, you've been PUNKED"

To say that I'm amazed by the information I've learned today is an understatement, I'm blown away. The last week has taught me few things about nature 1) The animal kingdom is full of violent homosexual deviants, and 2) Nature must be destroyed before our children learn anything more about it.

Even my most extreme fetish that involves three midgets, a step-ladder, and some masking tape, pales when compared to the behaviour of our animal *friends*.

Article here.