America's Queen, Paris Hilton

Object in mirror is twice as stupid as it looks.

I'm not sure why I live for stories like this, I just do.

The self-described "American royalty" wants to host a fairytale ceremony in London, at St Paul's Cathedral, Westminster Abbey or Windsor Castle, and sees no reason why the royal family shouldn't let her, Hello magazine has reported.
"I've always wanted to be a princess on my big day and only a wedding in England could make that happen," Hilton said.

But there's just one hitch: only British royals or heads of state can marry in the historical venues, a fact which doesn't seem to faze the party princess.

"I'm the closest thing to American royalty anyway," she said.

If this is the closest America has to Royalty, then America is in one steaming pile of trouble. If being a Royal idiot, or a Royal bitch is actual Royalty, then ya, Paris is your Queen.

"I've got my heart set on St Paul's or Westminster but I've had to write to the Prince to ask for dispensation as I don't qualify," she said.

Where the hell did Paris learn a word like "dispensation"? It must have been the word of the day on Sesame Street or something.

I have to be honest with you, I'm fascinated by Paris Hilton, I completely dig her. She's just so talentless and crude, and she's dumb as a cue ball, she's like the perfect trifecta of dating.

You just have to know that if you dated Paris you could strap a leash on her and make her bark like a dog, she'd definitely be into that. You could take her to a restaurant and make her wear a baby bib and feed her with a slingshot, oh ya, that's what the Mayor is talking about. Sure, she'd be high maintenance, don't think for one minute she wouldn't be. However, that wouldn't make a difference to me, as I'd end up stealing everything she has anyways. I'd rob that idiot blind, I'd steal the fillings from her teeth when she slept, and believe me, she'd be on a diet of Vodka and roofies, so she'd end up sleeping for about 22 hours a day.

Paris Hilton isn't real anyways, she's just a figment of our imagination.

If you want, you can go read the article about Paris Hilton , however, if you were smart, you'd avoid the article like Roseanne Barr avoids exercise.