Happy Amerikaner Day

I would like to extend my warmest wishes to all my Amerikaner friends on this, Amerikaner Day.

I remember the first time I saw my first Amerikaner, boy was I ever scared. My friends and I heard that there was an Amerikaner staying at Mrs. Jones house on Bailey St. in Toronto, in some sort of exchange program between our two countries. We just had to see what one looked like. Sure, I've seen plenty of them on T.V., but I never actually saw a domesticated one. I was very curious.

I remember how we hid in the bushes outside of Mrs. Jones house waiting for the Amerikaner to come outside from its den, it was very exciting. We waited for about 2 hours and then we heard a loud noise, I knew then and there that the Amerikaner was about to come outside.

My friends and I were armed with crossbows and bowstaffs, and I thought for sure that if things got out of hand that we had enough firepower to subdue this odd creature. The Amerikaner left its den, and I remember, clear as day, that when the light from the sun hit its eyes, it screamed out in pain, like a vampire would. At that moment I felt very sorry for the Amerikaner.

The Amerikaner looked like me and you, I mean, it looked the same, but different. It seemed larger, angrier, it looked like it had a purpose. I remember how my friend, Jimmy, screamed when he saw the Amerikaner, like someone stuck a lit cigar in his eyeball. I remember Jimmy said it looked hideous, and how he was going to pour acid in his own eyes, just to get the mental picture of this beast out of his brain. I thought Jimmy was over doing it, sure, the Amerikaner was different, but he wasn't really all that hideous.

The Amerikaner walked down the garden lane and stood beside the bushes where we waited. When the Amerikaner walked, he seemed to have a bit of a sway about him, it's hard to describe, it just seemed like he was uncomfortable walking on two legs. It seemed un-natural to him.

At this point I had a clear shot at the Amerikaner, but something told me not to drill a crossbow into it's large head, something told me that this creature deserved to live. I'm not sure if it was pity, or if there were other reasons, but from then on, I knew I would never *off* an Amerikaner, I would accept them no matter how many hundeds of thousands of flaws they had.

Then the Amerikaner spoke, and Jimmy started to cry. I couldn't understand what the Amerikaner was saying as it spoke in a different language. The Amerikaner used words like *y'all* and *ya hear*, and while it was certainly frightening, I giggled inside.

At this point a thought occurred to me; we should never keep another Amerikaner behind bars for our viewing pleasure again, the Amerikaner CAN live on the outside, and with a bit of work they can certainly be domesticated.

Now, thanks to the efforts of many people who thought the same as I do, Amerikaners are a free species. They are no longer on the endangered list, and the packs that they live in are healthy and abundant.

This is my story, I know you'll all have one also. Feel free to share your story, Mitchievillians would love to hear it.

Blessed be the creatures of Amerikaner, you deserve your freedom. Of course you never would have gotten it without ME, but still, you are now free and live as any free global inhabitant.

Happy Amerikaner Day from The Mayor, and from all the citizens of Mitchieville.