Look who's back, back again

Relax, I'm back. I managed to make it through the camping experience without losing my vision or any limbs, although mosquito's did suck about 2 gallons of blood out of me. They're not picky, they'll bite your neck, your toes, your ass, they have absolutely zero class. Hey, that rhymed, look at me, I'm rapping.

If you're anything like me, camping usually consists of what? That's right, booze, smokes, and lesbians. All three managed to be at the forefront of my extended weekend, and it sure made for some interesting times.

I went swimming in Lake Erie with a Danish girl you're all familiar with by now, that was a highlight of my weekend for sure. To get a perspective of what it's like to swim in Lake Erie, fill a bucket up with ice water and rocks, and then shove your head into the bucket. After you take your face out of the bucket and feel the warmth slowly returning to your head, shove your face back into the bucket. Repeat 500 times, that's Lake Erie.

I have good news and bad news about the Danish girl. The good news is we slept in the same tent for a few nights, the bad news is she's a lesbian. Just kidding, she's straight, I'm a lesbian. No, that's not it either. She didn't have an air mattress and I brought a face cloth instead of a sleeping bag, so it made sense to pool our resources. She kept me warm, and thanks to me she didn't have to sleep on ant hills the whole weekend. Eventually though I know I'm going to have to kill her, for she rejects my advances on a regular basis, and I can't have that, The Mayor should not, and will not be denied. God she's sweet.

There are so many stories to tell about the weekend, but now is not the time to tell them all. I don't want to *blow the wad* as they say. I will tell you that I have some pics and that I will be posting them during the week, so remember to come back to Mitchieville 25 times a day for the next 7 days.

One final thing before I go for a tan. If you're going to go camping for four days, it's never a good idea to only bring hamburgers with you. Sure, it's fun drinking booze 24/7 and eating dead animal flesh, but for God's sake, bring various kinds of meat. If you do decide to bring only burgers with you, make sure you cook them well, have a good look in the middle of them. This will save you approximately 4 hours every day of visiting the washroom.

The Mayor has spoken, please resume your daily activities.