Eat Me

Was I dreaming or did I get this link to the Cannibal Flesh Donor Program from Dave at Garfield Ridge ? I'm praying that it was just a dream. Here's what I remember from the dream......

I was giving blood to save Angelina Jolie's life because she had hers all sucked out by that bucked toothed geek Brad Pitt. I had just finished when Angelina starting thanking me in her oh so slutty way, when for some reason I cannot even fathom I looked up to the computer monitor across the room and saw that Dave had linked to some insane flesh eating stooges. It was a real toss up whether I should continue having my knob polished by the sexiest woman in the world or check out the link on Dave's site. Since Angelina "thanks" me for various things numerous times a day, I decided to have a boo at what this whole flesh eating thing was about. I wish I had never gone to that site, for it has forever changed me as a human.

Sure I've always thought about eating another human, what person hasn't, but just the thought that there are others out there who have taken this to another level simply aroused and tickled me. Let's explore this exciting site a bit further, shall we?

You fill out some forms and sign a donor card which you keep in your wallet at all times. Then, if you're killed in a car accident, for example, your body is donated to a restaurant or grocery store to be served in lieu of animal flesh.

Well so far that sounds reasonable enough, but are they serious?

Yes, we are very serious.

Wow, very serious is a step beyond being serious, but really, is this some sort of joke?

This is not a joke.

Fair enough, but what would you do with my flesh after I die?

Your flesh would go to a grocery store or fast food chain where it would be prepared in a wide variety of forms and sold to individuals who would otherwise be consuming animal flesh.

So really what your doing is taking the whole "eat a cat at a Chinese food restaurant" thing to the next step. But is human flesh okay to eat?

Human meat is perfectly okay to eat.

Well I can't argue with facts like that, but if I join will you spam (no pun intended) me with all sorts of flesh mail?

Don't worry, we won't spam you at all.

Well if I can't trust flesh eating humans, who can I trust? One final question, will there be some sort of screening process?

There will be a screening process for all donors.

This sounds right to me. Go visit these delicious and nutritious humans and always remember what I say about people, "we are the other red meat".