What In Tarnation Am I?

Since One of Three correctly guessed that last week's animal in question was a Christmas Tree Worm (ewwww), putting him 273/273 in correct answers over the last several years in that game, I thought I would shake things up a bit this week and see if One of Three is as smart guessing the sex of borderline humanoids as he is plants and animals. Did you see how long that last sentence was? It seemed to drag on for hours.

To be perfectly honest, I have zero idea whether the person in the picture pees standing up or sitting down. I have no idea if they are Sex and the City watchers or Monday Night Football type of peoples. I have absolutely no clue whether they get a visit from Auntie Flo every month or if they engage in road rage patterns. One thing I do know however: that is one ugly fucker.

I'm pretty sure I can get a hallelujah on that one.

So, What In Tarnation Am I?