Kirstie Alley--She Just May Eat You

Since given the heave-ho by Jenny Craig (most likely by way of a forklift), Kirstie Alley has gained so much weight that not only is her health in jeopardy, but the Enquirer reports she collapsed while walking across a parking lot:

“Kirstie’s weight crisis took a turn for the worse when she hit the 240-pound mark. Everyone - from her two kids to her staff to her close friends - is trying to get through to her,” said the source…

Her friends are also worried that her excess weight could lead to life-threatening health conditions like cardiovascular problems and a predisposition to diabetes.

Those fears escalated when the 5-foot-8 star collapsed while walking to her car on a steamy, hot California day.

“Kirstie was walking across a parking lot to her car when she suddenly got lightheaded. As she reached her car, she had to grab onto the door handle because her knees began to buckle.”

She probably thought it was a giant cheesecake with hot fudge wheels and couldn't control her excitement.

If kirstie's weight gain means that we never have to see her on Oprah, posing in a bathing suit ever again, then by all means, have another slab of chocolate covered bacon, you brick shithouse.

There should be a law that fat people aren't allowed out of their houses when the temperature reaches anything past 75 degrees. And not because it's a safety measure for the obese, but rather it's so I personally don't have to look at another blubber ball sweating themselves stinky.

Celebitchy was the cause of this post