Election Mitchieville--2007

The polls will be closed in less than 4 minutes. Some people seem to be under the impression that the polls closed at 7, but they were wrong, it's 8.

As the results come in, I will give you the results in real time, unlike the fake time that other stations are bringing you.

Two minutes to go, saddle up and get ready for a great night.

*I suppose while we wait, I'll tell you what I thought were the highlites and lowlites of my campaign. The highlites had to be the package of platform promises that I supplied, minus the whole faith-based funding thingie...man, that sure shot a hole through my sails. The lowlites had to be working without a campaign manager, he's been completely AWOL during this whole thing.

The other lowlite was watching Lisa and Fenris completely lie about everything, I thought that was in super poor taste.

We should be getting back some results any minute now.

Here we go!

Mitchieville Center--polls reporting 110/110

Fenris 388

Lisa 383

The Mayor 381

Mitchieville East--polls reporting 115/115

Lisa 398

Fenris 394

The Mayor 390

Mitchieville North South East--polls reporting 63/63

The Mayor 288

Fenris 283

Lisa the Bitch 281

Mitchieville Verboken Line--polls reporting 116/116

Lisa 350

The Mayor 346

Fenris 345

Mitchieville Annatunda--polls reporting 73/73

Lisa 244

Fenris 244

The Mayor 244

Mitchieville Cheapside--polls reporting 112/112

The Mayor 456

Lisa 451

Fenris 451

Mitchieville Bobcageon--polls reporting 88/88

Fenris 550

Lisa 540

The Mayor 519

Mitchieville Townline--polls reporting 88/88

The Mayor 500

Fenris 484

Lisa 483

Mitchieville Proper--polls reporting 134/134

The Mayor 864

Fenris 850

Lisa 860

By my calculations, Lisa has 3990, Fenris has 3989 and I have 3988.

8:07 pm--I may be wrong though, I've been gobbling down double rye and gingers since about 2 this afternoon. Seriously, I'm so loaded right now I can hardly fart.

**8:22 pm--I am now in the lead, not firmly, but in the lead none-the-less. I'm about to light up a little cigar and pour me some more rye and basically enjoy the shit out of this glorious night.

***8:53 pm--As it stands, I am about 2 seconds away from kicking someone firmly in the nuts. I'm losing by 150 some odd votes. For the love of God. REG!!!

****9:19--Things are now working out the way God had intended it from the beginning--I'm starting to blow those losers out of the water. There is no looking back now, it's just a matter of formalities now.

*****9:38--Man, things sure closed up in a hurry around here (unlike the Ontario Tories who are being smote like a biblical Pharisee)

******10:02--The votes have been counted and I am the winner!

What? What the hell do you mean Lisa is the winner? I came in third? BULLSHIT!!! Get my gun! I will not stand for this! This is an outrage!!!

You haven't heard the last from me!!!

FUC YOU!!!!!