The Mayor's Re-Election Platform Promise #8

My final campaign promise to the great citizens of Mitchieville is a simple one: If I am re-elected Mayor of Mitchieville, I promise to revoke the drivers license of dmorris, the most inept driver on the roads of Mitchieville.

As everyone in Mitchieville knows all too well, dmorris is a menace. When not *drinkie drinkie* and *drivie drivie*, dmorris can often be found at the Mitchieville Old Folk Orphanage (MOFO) selling cheap Chinese Viagra to the old, withered and inept. That sickens me.

However, it's dmorris' driving skills that are in question. Is there anyone among us that hasn't lost a cat, dog, or house pet to dmorris' old school mad driving skillz?

When re-elected Mayor of Mitchieville, I promise not only to revoke the drivers license of dmorris for a minimum of 25 years, I promise to also revoke his boat license, gun license, motorcycle license and fishing license. I would also like to revoke dmorris, but I haven't worked out the details on that yet.

This is a workable plan, a plan everyone wants/needs/has to have.

Do not let this maniac scare you, his bark is slightly less fearsome than his bite. He's the type of person that votes for Lisa. Or Fenris. basically, he's a traitor to the cause and will be treated with extreme prejudice when I'm re-elected.

Vote Mitch for Mayor on October 10, Help Clean Up the Streets of Psychopaths Like dmorris.