The Great Statists

Great activism requires a strong centralized state. One state, one mind, and many hands. And what better way for activists to aspire to greatness than by studying the great statists of the past? This week, the Roman Emperor Licinius (*).

The last pagan emperor of Rome. Things began to go downhill for the Roman empire after Licinius. Global Warming, cuts to social spending, and the suppression of the multi-cultural state begins after Licinius. As well, Licinius has the glorious distinction of ordering the mass arrests, torture, and public execution of those dastardly Christians. (Note: There is some dispute over the nature of Christianity at this time in history. Constantine's grasp of theology was vague. He appears to be more of pagan worshipper of Sol Invictus (*), perhaps a heretic embracing Arianism (*). His dynastic alliance with the barbarian Goths seems to yield evidence of a Mormonesque theology subsequently suppressed by the evil Nicene Catholics. He did have his son and first wife murdered, which is not very Christian. So, activists, suppress these facts as they weaken your arguments. Just use the 'Constantine is the first Christian emperor - Christianity is bad' sales pitch).

The evil Christians. Constantine's conversion to Christianity made Licinius suspicious of the sect, so he persecuted them. This is an important lesson for all wannabe Statists. Organized religions are bad for the big state. (Note: Islam is an organized religion, but is presently useful to our purposes. So, activists, suppress this fact until such time as it is convenient to turn on our present 'allies'). Licinius ordered such time honored rituals as the burning of scriptures, execution of clergy, and public confessions of loyalty to the state. Something we sure could use of more today.

A man for all seasons. Licinius grasped one of the central principals of a centralized state: expediency. Intially, Licinius was allied with Constantine in struggle for power against some other leadership candidates. He even went so far as to marry Constantines sister. After a decade of total civil war, the losing rivals were executed (strangled by sashcords, stabbed by their doctors, or just thrown into a mud pit filled with crocodiles) and their immediate families were fed to some endangered species. (Certainly a good idea for our current party hopefuls to emulate ... this would eliminate the Martin son of Martin problem). After that, he put aside his wife in a great victory for divorce rights activists and turned on both Constantine and the Christians.

Treachery, but the cause marches on. Constantine appears to be a better general and tactician, but this looks bad, so I prefer to make up the facts to suit the argument. So, Licinius was betrayed by several of his command staff, who were heteronormative Christians with a military background. Just like the profile of the Washington sniper, I might add. Anyway, Licinius loses and gets put to death after formenting a few rebellions over the next few years. And we all know that the death penalty is unjustified, unless Che, or Stalin, or Mao say so. And they did not, so it was wrong, and this wrong proves all of our activist arguments right, er, left.

If only we had Licinius running Canada right now. Then the Americans would live in fear. Christians would be persecuted and there would be no oppression. Sigh.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this at Mitchieville and DustMyBroom.