The Invisible Knapsack, part 2
Yes, there is a countably infinite number of invisible white privilege consumer goods in addition to the knapsack, radio, toilet seat warmer, and ball point pen. It is a universal truth that all tangible aspects of white advantage can be explained by the existence of invisible consumer goods. Given that there are at least 26 manifestations counted by this particular activist (link here) there must be a correspondingly large number of white privilege items, knick-knacks, curios, and coffee table books.
The Invisible Cell Phone of Male White Liberal (Party of Canada) Privilege. In a political party devoted to the abolition of ability based hiring and promotions, it is shocking to see that the ratio of men to women MP's is not reflective of our village peoples as a whole. This is easily explained by refering to the Invisible White Privilege Shopping Catalog which lists the party and gender specific (gasp!) cell phone available to the select few of the Liberal party. This phone features unlimited minuites, complete planetary coverage on the planets surface, and a limited time-travel capability to allow Liberal MP's to duck Main Stream Media groupies looking for press releases to plagarize under their own name. The phone is powered by a Tesla inductor which draws power from the magnetic field of the human heart.
The Invisible Latex Body Condom of White Gay Privilege. Activists have long wondered why white homosexuals suffer a lesser rate of sexually transmitted diseases. Unacceptable explainations such as greater intellegence, superior wit, and better fashion sense have been discarded as non-fake but accurate. The simple new left logic explaination (confirmed by the Invisible White Privilege Shopping Catalog) is that white homosexuals have access to this spectacular space age polymer body suit, available in a variety of invisible designer pastels to complement any look or athletic sexual activity. The body condom allows the white user full movement in any pleasure seeking activity, while protecting them from all known sexually transmitted diseases. Full tactile sensations are preserved. The latest version (called Nob Goblin on page 466 of the catalog) also allows full ingestion of bodily fluids of most carbon based life forms, regardless of port of entry.
The Invisible Hockey Stick of White Hockey Player Privilege. Until recently, hockey has been a bastion of white privilege, with few politically correct reasons why village peoples from the Sub-Sahara have developed adequate hockey skills. The mystery is explained by the existance of these invisible hockey sticks, sold exclusively to white players usually at the same time they strap on their first pair of skates. These simple wooden sticks (made from murdered tree limbs and varnished with seal oil) allow white hockey players to outperform all the competition in stick handling, passing, slashing, scoring, and referee spearing. Available in a number of sizes to match growing hands, the standard invisible hockey stick does not guarantee success against The Invisible Goalie Stick of White Goalie Privilege, let alone The Invisible Skates of White Professional Hockey Player Privilege.
The Invisible Dome Light of White Driver Privilege. Profiling of our most vulnerable village peoples by police is turning our global village into a place where poetry is not allowed. Until now, there have been no acceptable explainations that could be used to elicit funding to fund activist needs (link). The most scientific explaination, acceptable to a consensus of global warming scientists, is the existance of The Invisible Dome Light of White Driver Privilege. This dome light gives off a powerful invisible beacon that alerts police that the car in question is not to be profiled. The beacon lets police know to ignore swerving vehicles, firearm brandishing rowdies, eye watering dope pong, sloshing open jugs of whiskey, bound and gagged sex slaves, and rotting murder victims in the back seat. The dome light allows the white driver to speed, park illegally, make U-turns, pass on the soft shoulder, and cut in line at the drive through at Tim Hortons.
Personally, I am shocked at the extent of invisible white privilege consumer goods. To do my bit to destroy western civilization I am going to make available to you The Invisible White Privilege Shopping Catalog regardless of who you are. At only 29.95, this invisible catalog makes excellent conversation at any Stalinist get together. And for every catalog sold, I will donate a dollar to the Fenris Badwulf Jane-Finch Famine Relief Fund, which provides nutritious vegetarian bran mush and high cellulose food pulp to our most vulnerable illegal immigrants and escaped felons. So get out your credit cards and get yourself one of these fine invisible catalogs! Who knows, you may take a fancy to one of the invisible items to make yourself fulfiled as only white people have been able to do, thanks to invisible white privilege consumer goods.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
crossposted at Dust My Broom, fo'shizzle dizzle.
The Invisible Cell Phone of Male White Liberal (Party of Canada) Privilege. In a political party devoted to the abolition of ability based hiring and promotions, it is shocking to see that the ratio of men to women MP's is not reflective of our village peoples as a whole. This is easily explained by refering to the Invisible White Privilege Shopping Catalog which lists the party and gender specific (gasp!) cell phone available to the select few of the Liberal party. This phone features unlimited minuites, complete planetary coverage on the planets surface, and a limited time-travel capability to allow Liberal MP's to duck Main Stream Media groupies looking for press releases to plagarize under their own name. The phone is powered by a Tesla inductor which draws power from the magnetic field of the human heart.
The Invisible Latex Body Condom of White Gay Privilege. Activists have long wondered why white homosexuals suffer a lesser rate of sexually transmitted diseases. Unacceptable explainations such as greater intellegence, superior wit, and better fashion sense have been discarded as non-fake but accurate. The simple new left logic explaination (confirmed by the Invisible White Privilege Shopping Catalog) is that white homosexuals have access to this spectacular space age polymer body suit, available in a variety of invisible designer pastels to complement any look or athletic sexual activity. The body condom allows the white user full movement in any pleasure seeking activity, while protecting them from all known sexually transmitted diseases. Full tactile sensations are preserved. The latest version (called Nob Goblin on page 466 of the catalog) also allows full ingestion of bodily fluids of most carbon based life forms, regardless of port of entry.
The Invisible Hockey Stick of White Hockey Player Privilege. Until recently, hockey has been a bastion of white privilege, with few politically correct reasons why village peoples from the Sub-Sahara have developed adequate hockey skills. The mystery is explained by the existance of these invisible hockey sticks, sold exclusively to white players usually at the same time they strap on their first pair of skates. These simple wooden sticks (made from murdered tree limbs and varnished with seal oil) allow white hockey players to outperform all the competition in stick handling, passing, slashing, scoring, and referee spearing. Available in a number of sizes to match growing hands, the standard invisible hockey stick does not guarantee success against The Invisible Goalie Stick of White Goalie Privilege, let alone The Invisible Skates of White Professional Hockey Player Privilege.
The Invisible Dome Light of White Driver Privilege. Profiling of our most vulnerable village peoples by police is turning our global village into a place where poetry is not allowed. Until now, there have been no acceptable explainations that could be used to elicit funding to fund activist needs (link). The most scientific explaination, acceptable to a consensus of global warming scientists, is the existance of The Invisible Dome Light of White Driver Privilege. This dome light gives off a powerful invisible beacon that alerts police that the car in question is not to be profiled. The beacon lets police know to ignore swerving vehicles, firearm brandishing rowdies, eye watering dope pong, sloshing open jugs of whiskey, bound and gagged sex slaves, and rotting murder victims in the back seat. The dome light allows the white driver to speed, park illegally, make U-turns, pass on the soft shoulder, and cut in line at the drive through at Tim Hortons.
Personally, I am shocked at the extent of invisible white privilege consumer goods. To do my bit to destroy western civilization I am going to make available to you The Invisible White Privilege Shopping Catalog regardless of who you are. At only 29.95, this invisible catalog makes excellent conversation at any Stalinist get together. And for every catalog sold, I will donate a dollar to the Fenris Badwulf Jane-Finch Famine Relief Fund, which provides nutritious vegetarian bran mush and high cellulose food pulp to our most vulnerable illegal immigrants and escaped felons. So get out your credit cards and get yourself one of these fine invisible catalogs! Who knows, you may take a fancy to one of the invisible items to make yourself fulfiled as only white people have been able to do, thanks to invisible white privilege consumer goods.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
crossposted at Dust My Broom, fo'shizzle dizzle.
Labels: What Would Fenris Do?
posted by The Mayor at 2:33 PM
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