Warlordism in Ontario Today

They come from diverse ethnic backgrounds: Burgundians, Ostrogoths, Roxolani. The Pre-Christian Germano-Europeans Ottawa meddling has unleashed from Pandora's Box. Reports are few at this early hour of the crisis. White insurgents, armed with advanced weapons, have seized control of at least two postal outlets across the township of North Mitch.

I am concerned on your behalf. I volunteer your money to my control.

This crisis demands rash action, now! Panic! Panic! Flee! Flight! Abscondodo!

Help me help you solve my problem: the immediate suspension of Habeus Corpus, the Democratic Process, and Magna Carta. We have to get rid of it to handle this crisis. It is reasonable, and most of us that we talked to, always agree when we ask a certain way. Your future earnings are in peril.

We need to press gang up our army. Get those young boys and girls digging trenches! Let them don the jolly red scarlet of our jack militia and drunken calvary. The Press Gang is celbrated in many multi-cultural hives across our Global Village of Village Peoples. We must throw off our Christian morality and embrace The Press Gang into our Multi-Culture.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. Bring back the Press Gang!