Sumner Redstone is Ball-less

Viacom boss Sumner Redstone, in an interview with Vanity Fair, tells the real reason why he sacked Tom Cruise, and folks, hang on, for this is a good one:

Now the outspoken 83-year-old has told Vanity Fair it was his wife Paula who turned on Cruise first.

"Paula, like women everywhere, had come to hate him," Redstone said. "The truth of the matter is, I did listen to her, but I make business decisions myself."

The sound of a whip on the back of an 83 year old man is particularly disturbing.

Sumner pretends that his wife didn't make the decision to get rid of Tom Cruise, but the only person Sumner is kidding is the doctor that prescribes Sumner his Alzheimer's medication.

Sumner Redstone must have had a terribly hard life walking around all his 83 years with no testicles. It's a shame when a man loses his testicles and has to rely on his wife to make all his decisions for him. Sumner Redstone is inferring that he hates Tom Cruise, but the only thing he should hate is being neutered by his gonad snatching wife. "I hate Tom Cruise", "Then I will remove him from the studio, honey". "I want a Prada bag", "What colour would you like, sweetheart?" "My ass is itchy, it needs to be scratched", "Would you like me to scratch it with my fingernails or my teeth?"

Kids, let Sumner Redstone be your lesson. If you have a controling old bitty of a wife/girlfriend, get rid of her now, sell her on EBay. Just get rid of her for your own sake, cuz if you don't, the next set of testicles you hear hit the floor may be your own.

Sumner has no cruise control