Moderate Drinking May Improve Memory

Researchers from the University of Ohio have found that a few drinks a day improves the memory of lab rats:

"There is some evidence suggesting that mild to moderate alcohol consumption can protect against diseases like Alzheimer's in humans," said During. "But it's not apparent how this happens."

"We saw a noticeable change on the surface of certain neurons in rats that were given alcohol," During said. "This change may have something to do with the positive effects of alcohol on memory."

Researchers also noticed that the drunken rats became belligerent and violent for no apparent reason, and insisted on driving small rat cars across crowded sidewalks.

Researchers also found that in rat language, drunken rats tended to say things like, "And then I said, 'Julie, I aint your dancing monkey. I mean, I gave you the best three months of my life and how do you repay me? By having a litter of baby rats with Chester. You are a slut, Julie, I wanna go bust my fist through ahhh...ahhhh...ahhhh...and how 'bout those Dolphins? I bet $50 on those losers and look what happens. I got so angry I nearly put my rat fist through the...ahhhh....ahhhh.... hey, bartender! What's a rat gotta do to get a drink in this hole?'"

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