Action, not Reaction.

Having put aside my heavy burden for the public good of the great People, Plants, and Animals of Mitchieville, I come before the electorate to talk, moo, bark, and meow in this public forum, for action.

From the other candidates, I have heard nothing. Silence. As silent as the Welfare office on weekends. As silent as the tax department when the workers are turned out to agitate for progressive causes. Mitch, the incumbent, has a campaign manager who is silent in this campaign (#). I hope he is not in prison, again. And, fair minded that I am, I will write a letter to the judge asking for understanding, just like last time. Lisa does not seem to have a campaign manager. What dark murky secret is she hiding? Maybe it is part of that strange cult she leads that nobody talks about. The best guess is that her campaign manager is assembled from surplus bootleg human parts, using blasphemous science in a laboratory hidden in a stinking swamp.

Fenris Badwulf is not silent. Like a wolf, I have the best interests of the flock at heart. And I now offer a job opportunity to every woman in Mitchieville.

That is right: every woman in Mitchieville: a job opportunity.

Just click this link (#) and follow the instructions.

I promise that when I am elected Mayor I will re-imburse anyone who takes up this offer from the public purse.

Is it not about time that you had a job that paid fourty dollars an hour that you can do from your home? Why wait until after the election? How about RIGHT NOW? Run to your pocketbook and take advantage of this free offer. Just tell them that Fenris sent you.

Mayor Fenris Badwulf, it sounds good, like the sound of a Reptile-Canadian chewing on a spinal column.

Fenris Badwulf, I care. I care alot.