It's a Dog Eat Dog World

According to who the hell knows, the newest trend to *sweep the nation* pairs macho men and small dogs:

Hutch Effman, 29, is in love. But the object of the former college football player's affection is neither a fetching wife nor a sexy girlfriend. Effman is in love with Maisey — his 8-pound teacup Yorkshire terrier.

"We have a good bond together," Effman said. "She's knows that when I sit down and watch TV at night, I like having some company. So she'll sit right with me and sleep with me and that's it. It's just companionship."

Sure it is. Get a room.

And, according to Wendy Diamond, editorial director of Animal Fair Magazine, men with small dogs are confident and don't need to *prove* themselves:

"Men with small dogs tend to be secure with themselves; they're confident," Diamond said. "They don't need a big dog to prove something."

Sure they don't.

Any guy that owns a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier should be ridiculed and exiled to gay island. If you are a single guy and own a dog named *Fiefie*, or *Bisquit*, or *Gumball*, you need mental help. Real guys don't own Teacup Yorkshire Terriers, their wife or girlfriend owns them. Real men own German Sheppards and Pit Bulls, dogs that are nearly untrainable, dogs that bite children and scare the crap out of old ladies. Dogs with cool names like *Brutas* and *Killer*, dogs that drink from the toilet and sewers, not dogs that drink from saucers and fine bone china.

The Little Danish Girl lives in a condo in Toronto, and I see these *macho* guys with their chihuahua's carrying their dog for a *walk*, and it makes me sick. They have the little bitches all dolled up like a Barbie, with stupid diamond collars around their pencil necks and leaches that cost more than a root canal. That aint right.

Any guy that tells you they are confident in their masculinity and they don't need a big dog to be an extension of that, will most likely go home with *Teacup*, pour himself a nice cinnamin camomile tea, click on Sex in the City, and cry himself to sleep in his fluffy pillow. If that's what macho is, then I don't want any part of it.

Real men? Pulease.