The Reasons for the Split of Paul McCartney and Hobbles

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64? Clearly not:

Heather even exclaimed during one conversation: "Oh God, he's such a boring old f* rt!" It is a wonder that the relationship lasted as long as it did.

The behaviour which irritated her most was what she regarded as his reclusive ways. 'Why won't Paul have a social life?' she would moan. 'He's got no friends and it's driving me mad.'

"Heather realised Paul had lived in his own little world with Linda, spending every single day together and smoking a lot of dope.

Those were just a few passages in a long, drawn out article outlining the many reasons why Paul McCartney and Hobbles Mills split.

Here's my take on it: Paul was as exciting as watching paint dry. While his wife was young and vibrant, Paul was a chronic pot smoker who has a small penis that fails to get erect on command.

Hobbles was a fucking bitch who hounded poor Paul every day and night, yelling at him in that disgusting British accent that women with 5 teeth in their head have. "Paul, bring your non-erect small penis over here and satisfy me", "Paul, put down that bong and bring your non-erect small penis over here and satisfy me", "Paul, I'm going to a 'Save the Fire ants' march this afternoon, now bring that non-erect small penis over here and satisfy me".

Paul knew their marriage was on the rocks when he sang Hobbles the song, "When I'm 64". When he got to the part, *When I'm 64*, Hobbles would look uncomfortable and say to Paul, "Excuse me Paul, I have to go get the laundry out of the dryer".

Paul McCartney, the boring walrus