The Da Vinci Code--A Review
The Little Danish Girl and I saw The Da Vinci code yesterday afternoon, and truth be told, we were most impressed. We were not so much impressed by the movie, but by the lack of death and carnage that didn't take place because of the movie. We both figured that if innocent cartoons of the prophet Mohammad (pbuh) caused upwards of 600 deaths worldwide, then The Da Vinci code would set all sorts of records, maybe 1 or 2 million dead and tens of millions injured. But there was nothing, not a single death at the theatre. Boring.
The Little Danish girl and myself have both read Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci code, and we agree that both books are pure formula. That's the way Dan Brown choreographs his books, they're exciting and somewhat predictable. You get what you get, there really aren't any huge surprises. The movie though, it was boring shit.
The Da Vinci Code drags on from beginning to end. I'm certain that even if you haven't read the book, there was nothing in the movie that would have kept your attention. Christians shouldn't be upset at this movie, movie-goers should be upset, anyone that paid $13 should be upset. If our movie tickets weren't comped and I had to pay $26 for both tickets, I would have gone all *Moslem extremist* and killed everyone in the theatre. All the hype for this movie and all you get is a mulleted Tom Hanks who has a look on his face the whole movie like he just ate bad ass.
The best part of the movie, by far, was that I smuggled two giant cans of Pringles down my pants, and halfway through the movie The Little Danish Girl shoved her hand down my jeans and tweaked my balls for about 5 minutes. Other than that, there was nothing good about the whole experience.
If you want real excitement, turn on the CBC and watch 5 pin bowling, or stare at a mustard stain on your filthy shirt, because you're not gong to find excitement watching The Da Vinci Code.
Out of 10, I give this movie a 4. I would have given it a 2, but as I mentioned earlier, The Little Danish girl tweaked my balls for 5 minutes.
The Little Danish girl and myself have both read Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci code, and we agree that both books are pure formula. That's the way Dan Brown choreographs his books, they're exciting and somewhat predictable. You get what you get, there really aren't any huge surprises. The movie though, it was boring shit.
The Da Vinci Code drags on from beginning to end. I'm certain that even if you haven't read the book, there was nothing in the movie that would have kept your attention. Christians shouldn't be upset at this movie, movie-goers should be upset, anyone that paid $13 should be upset. If our movie tickets weren't comped and I had to pay $26 for both tickets, I would have gone all *Moslem extremist* and killed everyone in the theatre. All the hype for this movie and all you get is a mulleted Tom Hanks who has a look on his face the whole movie like he just ate bad ass.
The best part of the movie, by far, was that I smuggled two giant cans of Pringles down my pants, and halfway through the movie The Little Danish Girl shoved her hand down my jeans and tweaked my balls for about 5 minutes. Other than that, there was nothing good about the whole experience.
If you want real excitement, turn on the CBC and watch 5 pin bowling, or stare at a mustard stain on your filthy shirt, because you're not gong to find excitement watching The Da Vinci Code.
Out of 10, I give this movie a 4. I would have given it a 2, but as I mentioned earlier, The Little Danish girl tweaked my balls for 5 minutes.
Labels: Islamic Tolerance
posted by The Mayor at 3:33 PM
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