Saturnalia

Hurrah! Saturnalia is upon us! Let us gorge on food and give presents and celebrate youth and kindly old age. How suitable for Capricorn, whose month this really is. Saturn rules Capricorn, and Saturnalia celebrates this planet.

Saturn has a bad reputation in astrology, given to him by people who want to empty your wallet. They talk of healing, of centering, of karma, but never actually heal, or center, or explain just what they mean by karma. I rather like Saturn. He sets limits, imposes restrictions, and tests ability. This enrages children, the immature, the autistic, and the senile. How dare external forces limit my sandbox time, they pout. How dare the neighbours complain about my loud music! How dare I be held accountable for my actions! You know the type, and hopefully, you are not them.

In Alchemy, one must make four mystical journeys before one acheives immortality. The first journey is the one that gets all the ink spilled about it. In it, you must face your fears. After you obtain this mastery, you travel through 'the center', which is Saturn.

You will continue to be frog marched up to that which you fear until you master it. Such will be your life until you come to terms with Saturn, with limitation, restriction, and tests of ability.

So, this Saturnalia, I enjoin you to Take Responsibility for Your Own Life. I realize that this is not Politically Correct and certainly not Good For Business. Much as I enjoy the suffering of people whom I find childish, and as much as these people provide the bulk of my business, none the less, I give you this good advice.

Saturn motivates us in three ways: with Reason, with Reward, and with Fear. You can pre-empt him by using Reason, by forseeing challenge and obstacle and preparing in advance. You can bribe yourself and others with toys and tricks and candy to get them do your whim. And, of course, you can scare or punish them into some grudging half assed efforts. Take your pick. Choose wisely. Be the child, who is slapped and scolded by teachers, or be the teenager who is bribed with money or drugs or sex, or, best yet, be the adult who faces adult problems and enjoys adult rewards.

I, Sargon the Magnificent, wrote this.