A Christmas Gift for America

Christmas is soon upon us, and it is the duty of all left listing politically correct Canadian Village Peoples to devote some thought to our American Cousins. The consensus is that Canada should launch a massive attack upon our Southern Neighbour while their guard is down during the Christmas Holiday.

The Time to Attack is Christmas We can seize the advantage of susprise. At Dawn on Christmas Day is the best time. The materialist swine will be ripping open presents and gloating over global warming friendly foodstuffs. Send in the our legions! Clear them out with the Bayonet! Use Cluster Bombs on their soft shopping malls! Infiltrators will subvert electrical and water supplies. Saboteurs will destroy communications nodes and railway bridges. Partisan Infantry will overwhelm Police Stations. Turncoats will spread fear and despondency over radio and television.

American Military Might is bogged down Overseas The foolish Americans have their best troops tied up in wars of aggression and irritation in Iraq, and Korea. Their reserves are spent. Only a few flabbly border guards and bucktoothed agricultural police battalions stand between our PanzerGrenadier Divisions and the American Heartland! Detroit squats ripe for picking, as does the strategic and cultural cities of Buffalo and Cleveland.

We should attack first, before everyone else does It is obvious that the Mexican-Costa Rica Axis is massing strength to attack, but they lack our snow and winter experience. Mexico plans to attack after the Spring rains, obviously. We should attack before they do. Canada should be the lion, not the vulture. Many hungry eyes watch the rich plump prize that is America from out of the surrounding darkness. Do not forget the territorial ambitions of Haiti, either.

No need to be squeamish about a few casualties The American nuclear arsenal is over rated and so much Hollywood hype. No realistic military planner thinks that the Bourbon Brained leaders in Washington would use Atomic Weapons on thier own continent. I am willing to gamble the lives of our most vulnerable citizens (the homeless, the poor, and the destitute) that not a single thermonuclear weapon will detonate in defence of the American Heartland.

We will be supported by a Fifth Column We have friends everywhere in America who will welcome our Army of Occupation! Massive arrests, forced labor camps, weapons roundups, and suppression of civil liberties will be celebrated by our Quisling-American brothers! Even as you read this, they work for our Victory.

I call upon all Canadian Village Peoples to call upon Paul Martin to launch a massive sneak attack upon America at dawn on Christmas Day! Let them choke on their Egg Nog. Forward the Progressive Forces of Political Correctness and Canadian Federalism!

Banzai! Banzai! Banzai!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this by the light of the Second Cup Christmas Tree at Bloor and Church in Toronto.