Horoscope for September 26 to October 3, 2005

I would like to go into detail about your fate this week, but I cannot do so easily. The fact is that a large number of you will be dead by the end of the week. Your rotting corpse will be food for the raccoons and skunks. Yup.

You can avoid your fate by having your horoscope cast. Maybe you will be able to avoid the certain doom that awaits people on Thursday at 11:23 am.

Find out your destiny for only fifty dollars.

I, Sargon the Magnificent, dictated this to the ever so charming Sonjia De Sade, who is sporting a leopard look this fine day.