Every Woman is an Island

You've nearly run out of time to get your baby something for VD. It's not like I didn't remind you every fucking day for 7 straight days. Now you've done it, you've crossed the line. You are in some deep enemy territory now. I don't want to say I told you so, but you know for a fact I told you so, don't you go denying that. Don't come in here trying to pull off some lame excuse like somehow it was my fault. You've blown it buddy, you're on your own. Wait a second here, you still have time. Think man, what can a dumbass, who's been told for 7 straight days to get a VD gift, and didn't, get their better half for VD? I'd say don't get them a map, because when they realize what a stupid asshole you are, they're going to get in the car and get the fuck out, I sure as hell would.

Hold on, hold on, I think I can help you out. I hate seeing people cry, it makes me want to slap that sad look off your swollen, reddened face. I know a site that can hook you up, you don't even have to go to the store, it's online. Now, go get your credit card and then come back. Do not stop at the fridge to grab a "treat" on the way back, I'm sure that you don't need any more sugar. Christ, sit down, Simon says sit. Now go to this site and buy your little insurance policy a nice private island. Don't even think of cheapening out at the crappy $1.3 million Leaf Cay Bahamas, Caribbean island, start with the $8 million dollar, 27 acre Fiji Island.

Remember, love at no cost.