Valentine's Day, ETA 72 hours

I've had a few emails asking me where are the Valentine gifts that women can get for their men. Apparently I haven't been taking care of my female readers enough. To this I say, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I have wronged you. If it helps, you can spank me.

Let me make it up to you. I have searched high and low(really low) and have come up with the gift that is perfect on so many levels. If your husband or boyfriend tends to treat you like a dog, this gift is for you. If your significant other has an eye for the ladies, this will put him in his place. If you're just plain fed up with his stupid shit, get this gift. I cannot stress enough that this will enhance your relationship, or if your relationship is a bit shaky, it will cure all that ails ya. Sometimes a gift comes along that is nearly too good for words, so I won't try to "sex this up" any more then I have to.

Scott Paul presents, for all the fine women that peruse Mitchieville, the Captivation Cage.

No longer will you ever have to worry about your man stepping out on you and finding tail on the outside. Now you can simply shove him in his cage until he learns a lesson the hard way. Do you have troubles with your man coming home smelling like sex and whiskey and jalepina poppers, you just stick that nasty fuck in his cage. Do you find your man can't piss straight into the toilet, send him to the cage. Treat your man like the dog he is and buy that bastard a cage. I know you love it, now go out and buy it.