Invasion America - Death To Georgia!

I, Suvorov, haven't been this happy since that traitor Solzhenitsyn kicked the bucket a week ago. Russia is back, and the attack on America has finally begun. And what better place to launch this merciful and just invasion than at the very heart of capitalist Amerika: Georgia.

Georgia, the state that brought us Coca-Cola, Deliverance, and the terrible 1996 Olympic Games is burning tonight. As her masses flee to the country side and wait for help that won't come (too bad your "army" is in Iraq!) our confidence builds, our plan unfolds. Yes comrade blog readers, our brave Russian tank men will destroy the collective soul of Georgia's alt-rock spirit and burn down Atlanta like it was 1865. Orange Crush indeed!

As I drive south on I75 through Tennessee on my way to meet up with the patriotic citizen soldiers of the new Russian Army I find my cheeks wet with tears of joy. I had expected the inevitable Russian invasion of the United States to come through Alaska, that my Cossack brothers have struck the underbelly of corporate capitalist greed should come as no surprise. For years after the fall of the great socialist experiment that was Communism the people of Georgia gorged themselves on their juicy peaches while the citizens of mother Russia went hungry. With the cash flow from our plentiful oil reserves and a President who has the moral authority to lead his nation into battle we now attack. It is our turn to feed on your Georgian peaches.

Like Peach Cobbler, revenge is a dish best served cold. Fill your bellies my Russian brothers!


I, Suvorov, have posted this to strike fear into the heart of our Yankee readers.

Inside Mitchieville - Phosgene Munitions Production

Things have been quiet on the Munitions Industry front the past two weeks but there is good reason for that. As the spring offensive approaches we kick things up into high gear as Fenris gets all pissy if the requested quota of Phosgene Shells aren't ready for the feared spring offensive. A look then "Inside Mitchieville" and the Munitions Ministry...


It would be easier if phosgene grew on trees, but life ain't ever easy is it? This was taken at Phosgene Aggregate Mine #4 outside of picturesque Kamloops, British Columbia. A secret railroad run by Minister of Environment ships the raw material to our facility in Churchill, Manitoba for processing.





At our top secret foundry in Oshawa, Ontario (just off of Park Road, south of Hwy 401, near the Tim Hortons) we melt down high grade titanium for the phosgene shells. To offset our costs at other times of the year we make low grade bumpers for General Motors which they export to our southern enemies, the hated Americans.




Using stolen alien technology passed down to Fenris by a 12th degree Masonic Knight, this caliper is used to ensure that our artillery cannons are crafted to the highest specifications. At $20,000 a shell we want to make sure or phosgene shells fall as close to our target as possible. Well that and we want to avoid a repeat of the heart breaking "Windsor Incident".





This is the Ministry of Munitions most famous employee: Supervisor, Second Class, Hans Foote. Hans joined our team after spending five years in Iraq looking for Nigerian Yellowcake. For fun the girls in accounting bake yellow cakes and leave them in Hans locker with notes that say "we found your yellowcake" on them. These notes make Hans cry. Hans tells us he can build phosgene shells because he saw pictures of them while serving in Iraq. It's best not to disappoint Fenris, Hans.





Is there anything more exciting then seeing a few burly me handle a well lubricated steel shaft? Here we have a picture of a new idea The Mayor has. Apparently this lubricated shaft will plunge into the deepest, darkest part of the earth (we'll know we've gone far enough when we feel the hot spurt of warm volcanic juice on the shaft). We then drop a nuclear warhead into the gaping hole left by the shaft and wait for a catastrophic explosion from the bowels of the earth!



Only the best and most expensive impact drills can be used for phosgene shell production. Why is it then our finance minister insists on getting us Made In China drills at Wal-Mart? Spend a little, save a little. Here we see Alice as she expertly places the holes needed for our atmospheric detonation device. Alice, a working mother of three, has 25% of each weeks pay donated to The Church of Set Munitions Fund. How much do you give?

Friday Morning Female Flesh

Ministry of Munitions Edition

It is only a matter of time before Mitchieville, acting under the orders of Dark Lord Kucinich, launches it's invasion of the United States. Today we'll be looking at the ladies whose work is rarely recognized but is a vital part of our war effort.

Our very own Linds, amateur graphic designer and Kucinich loyalist, designed this motivational poster for Mitchieville. That's me in the suit.


Alejandra looks great in her stylish steel toed high heels and operates a Front-End Loader at Munitions Quarry #4. When the invasion begins, Alejandra will drive the Mitchieville Command Vehicle and Recreational Centre (seen below) into battle. You can't see him but The Mayor is in his command Lazy-Boy Recliner while reviewing training drills.
















These young ladies have been trained by Suvorov to blend in with San Francisco hippies and then use their water cooled Maxim Gun on unsuspecting Yankee imperialist soldiers. Never trust women wearing black faux-boa trim on their dresses.






On the left, our Medical Officer eschews tradition by wearing an all black leather uniform designed by Sonjia DeSade.

Captain Holmes, on the right, disarms foolish American 'teeth fetish' men with her 1000 Watt smile.


Here we have the heart of the Munitions Ministry: Ordnance Assembly. Despite a sternly worded Cease and Desist letter from the United Nations Security Council, Sgt-General of Artillery Badwulf has ordered some 1000 Phosgene Shells for use high density urban areas. Should it appear that these shells are about to fall into Yankee hands they are to be dumped into Lake Erie where we assume no one will notice the difference in water quality.

















My sister builds guns for living in rural Peterborough County and it was her idea to develop the 'Hello Kitty' pattern of weapons to encourage more female teenage recruits. This variant has a a ten power scope and laser sight just like in the video games. Just remember 'Center Body Mass' girls!













It's Safety Week at Mitchieville. I can assure readers that here at the Munitions Ministry once we meet production quotas, profit targets, and take month long tropical vacations, safety is our number one concern. I thought I should share this picture with you:

Second Class Forklift Driver Hillary got her job at the Phosgene Shell Factory because her husband, William, had been a forklift operator at the same factory for 8 years. When Hillary applied for the job she told everyone who would listen, even those who didn't want to listen, that hearing about her husbands 8 years experience was enough experience for her to drive the forklift. We got lucky in the above incident as no one died and the damage was minimal. I suggest that none of you take that chance though. Thinking about it now, William was a much better forklift operator than the guy who took over for him, George. But neither George, William, or George Sr (a good and decent forklift operator in his own right) were as good as Ron. Ron was so good at driving forklift he put our main competitor out of business!


Where the hell was I? Here is a little Ministry of Munitions eye-candy to get you through the day. If you want anything better I suggest you look at the non-hoohoo picture from yesterday.
















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Invasion, America!

Under my leadership, Mitchieville (soon to be renamed Fenrisville), will assume an aggressive military posture towards the United States. Prepare for living in a rich, fast twenty-first century war economy! Buckle up!

Our lack of troops is not a disadvantage. Outnumbered ten to one in raw manpower, the Canadian War Machine, is still outnumbered greatly in tanks (eight to one), artillery (thirteen to one), and self-propelled mortars (six to one). However, Canada has many overseas friends who would like to station a tank division or two in Calgary. Indeed, a force of ten land divisions (three panzer, four landefronte, three festungberger), a few hundred interceptors a SAM and radar belt, and a few hundred enthusisatic Flak Kids , could keep Calgary safe and sound from American terror attacks. And if you add in Edmonton, Regina, and maybe Moose Jaw, you have the same vision of Air Defence Canada that I do. They have the men and equipment, we have the rental accomodations and the battlefield! Lets put two and two together, and four into our pocket.

How many Iranian divisions do you need to hold Calgary from Ottawa's unjust powers of taxation? Bring in those that hate America!, as we Canadians can only find in America-hating a kindred twisted soul.

The Following is Top Secret, and for Cadre of Fenris, only!

Prepare for war!

1) Gather some food and water together, fast. Do this right now before you read further!

Practical Note to Fenrisite Worshipers of Set, the Snake God:

Prepare to become rich in the famine to come! Gather these things for trade goods: Tobacco, Coffee, Soups, Toothpaste, Toilet Paper. Also include Rolling Papers, Lighters, Hand Soap, Shower Soap, Laundry Soap, Condoms, Lube, Rubber Gloves, and Floor Scrub stuff.

2) Prepare a safe place from bombardment. Under a stair well is good. Pile furniture against your shelter. Hopefully a few extra millimeters of particle board will make do for the big deep public bomb shelters the cheap Mayor never built.

3) When you return to the surface of the earth, you will need to fight for a safe source of drinking fluids. Water is best, but there are other things you can do to survive in the seven days it takes for the half life of radiation that has poisoned all non bottled water.

4) While the expendible non-soldiers sacrifice for front line victory, our forces capture the Ohio Valley from the despicable Yankees.

5) Being cowards, the weakling Americans will surrender and lick our boots after a few small setbacks. Otherwise, we will be blasted into crispy rubble. Onward and Throw the Dice of War!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this at both Fenrisville and DustMyBroom.