Saturday Mid-Morning Retro Female Flesh For Dmorris And DINO

This last week on the campaign trail has been brutal. There have been a lot of harsh words spoken back and forth between each camp, and frankly, that's not the type of campaign I want run here at Mitchieville Central.

I'd like to start anew, to throw away the old, childish ways of doing things, and to issue in a new age of campaigning--one that is based on hope and change.

Yesterday, Fenris posted the FNFF. Dmorris and DINO, who are the biggest supporters of these kinds of posts, really seemed to enjoy it. They even asked me, through a series of emails, if I could pen a better FNFF post than Fenris. I agreed, and what you'll see before you in a second are the fruits of my intensive labour.

The Mayor's FF post is different than Fenris', because quite frankly, I'm catering this post to Dmorris and DINO, an underserved, *at risk* segment of our society. I wanted to make them happy and bring them a few of the beauties they grew up with.

Without further ado, Dmorris and DINO, this post is for you!


Wow, I betcha this picture will send a few hearts a flutter. If you ever get the chance to go to dmorris or DINO's house, you will see that this is but one of the hundreds of full-length Phyllis Diller pictures that adorn their walls. Phyllis Diller was and probably is to dmorris and DINO as Meghan Fox is to many 16 year old boys. And I'm sure if either dmorris or DINO had any gas in their tanks (which they don't), this picture would certainly rev up their grossly inadequate, but mighty engines.


Even in a wheelchair and older than original sin, Elizabeth Taylor has always been the woman that DINO loses sleep (and bodily fluids) over. As beautiful at 18 as she is at 97, Elizabeth still has a control over the men that always dug her. And dmorris and DINO? They still dig this old philly. Sure all three of them are pretty much out to pasture at this point, but grass doesn't cost squat, we have a lot of land, and every so often when their synapses spark and they relive one of the only few remaining memories they have left, man, are they ever wildly entertaining people.


I remember the conversation dmorris and I had a few years back--he was telling me a story of when he and Mary Pickford were both 18 and drinking Vanilla Coke smoothies in a malt shop. Sure, the story went on and on and had no point, but I remember the look in dmorris' eyes when the name Mary Pickford came up. To be honest, I thought maybe dmorris was talking about my old grade 3 friend Bobby Pickford, but truth be told, that would lead to a rather uncomfortable conversation that I would rather avoid at this time.

DINO also had a huge crush on Mary Pickford when he was a teenager. DINO was 17 at the time and Mary was 19. A bright eyed, bushy tailed little rapscallion, DINO use to send Mary scented love letters and boxes of Belgium chocolates. Often, he use to show up at Mary's house unannounced, with a cleaver in one hand and a rag douced with ether in the other. Although a restraining order and 6 months in jail took most of the wind out of DINO's sails (ie-shower scenes with guys named Bubba tend to do that to a guy), it never lessened his love for Mary. Even as we speak, I can guarantee DINO is writing up a comment on Mitchieville--with one hand--while the other hand is doing what DINO does best.

FNMF--Picked By The Mayor

I am a big fan of Friday Female Flesh. When I was asked to pen a post for Friday Flesh, I was giddy with joy. When I found out that I was to pen a post on Male Flesh, I wasn't as giddy. Actually, all the giddiness pretty well left my body and went to wherever the hell giddiness dies. Probably New York. Or the soul of a liberal.

Having said that, I welcome this opportunity to show you that not only do I have excellent taste in women, but I'm sure the women of Mitchieville will be pleasantly surprised at the male flesh that I have chosen just for them.

Ladies, enjoy.


Woody Allen--oh ya, he's as yummy as a lollipop. He's as good looking now as he was when he was a teenager in the 1920's. A devilishly handsome man, chiseled like a rock, and sources say he's hung like a squirrel--therefore, you will not have to worry about him hurting your most private parts. Woody Allen--slurpalicious!


Next up is Michael Moore. You will never have to worry about missing a meal with this bear on your arm. Some women like hairy and smelly--you know this guy will satisfy that need in spades. He is always in fashion with those sporty baseball caps. And those chubby, porky fingers--the only thing could be hotter is if he had the shakes. Just imagine, oh ya, go with that visual.


If you demand that your love interest has crazy orange hair and outrageously huge tits to wrap your mouth around, then Carrot Top is for you. He's got the rugged good looks of a young Jeff Goldblum and the sex appeal of Lyle Lovett. He's got the fresh face of a middle age Elton John and the beastly appeal of Nick Nolte with a dash of Marilyn Manson and a smidgen of Bill Gates thrown in for good measure. Enjoy the hell out of Carrot Top, ladies!

Wow, I was really in the zone tonight. You can thank me later.

Restoring Balance - Female Flesh: Girls of Summer

I believe in balance. I am moderate in many ways, indulging in one thing, only to counterbalance it with another. Every ecosystem must maintain a delicate sense of equilibrium or risk falling into chaos. Thus was I asked to start writing Man Flesh after a dearth of Lisa's great posts. When Lisa and I both started posting recently and unexpectedly, another weekly Female Flesh also cropped up to accompany Reg's fine female posts. Balance. Equilibrium.

And then this week, the balance was not just tipped, but completely thrown off kilter.  I didn't know this ahead of time, and only just discovered it Saturday morning Pacific time. And, quite honestly, it offended even my (gay) sensibilities. I felt a compelling urge to restore symmetry. So I dove into the magical world of girls of summer adorned in bikinis:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You may think, "How would you know what hot female flesh looks like, Logan? You're gay!" True, I won't deny my membership in the homosexualist club. However, even I had my years of female flesh appreciation. I used to sneak peaks at my dad's Playboy and Penthouse. I even had a year-long subscription to Penthouse in college.

Men are either ass-men or breast-men. You'd assume that since gay guys love ass, they'd naturally be ass-men even when appreciating women's fine assets. However, this is not necessarily true. I was an avid breast-man myself growing up. Even after I turned gay I had a fascination with breasts. All of my current "Top 5 Famous Women I'd Switch For" have nice, large racks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And what better way to enjoy breasts than the scant bikini? Enough exposed flesh to be a visual feast, and just enough clothing to tease and intrigue. That's why beaches are so fun in the summertime: Shirtless guys and bikini-clad women.

Balance. The way it should be.

Posted by Reg, who posted this post for Logan, who wrote this post on behalf of Reg.

Friday Morning Female Flesh

Not much time for a post today folks. His Worship has ordered me to get my arse to Mitchieville for early afternoon and it is a three hour drive so without delay her she is:   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm 99% sure that I poached sultry young Jessica from the pages of Steamboat McGoo's Blog.  Speaking of poached, it's time for some breakfast.

I'll do my best to Liveblog various events over the weekend and with the help of Lisa Foggy maybe even get a picture or two posted for everyone.   Have a safe weekend!

Friday Night Female Flesh Goes Cowgirl

Logan suggested a Cowboy\Cowgirl theme for this week.  I say while the hell not after all, we all love riding bareback don't we? It's a hot humid day here in Mitchieville Township and I want to spend it outside, so less talk, more Flesh:

Unlike Logan and his Manflesh post below when I think of Brokeback I like to think two of two friends messing around in the mountains who look like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cowgirls in the pink hats GOT ARRESTED for having imitation guns in a public place.  Just further proof that England has gone to shit and that Limey men are gay. Feel free to add your own strip search\body cavity search joke in the comments section, perverts.

I found the young cowgirls below with their pictures titled "sdacowgirls".   It's about time Kate livened things up over at SDA! I had no idea she was a fan of FNFF\FNMF.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a safe weekend everyone and tell everyone you see about Mitchieville (even the gay limey ones).

Yeehaw! - Friday Night Male Flesh - Cowboy Style

A few weekends ago I hopped a train and headed south to visit my parents. They live in the closest thing California has to a "heartland" -- the Central Valley. I grew up on a cattle ranch, and most of my extended family were cowboys and cowgirls. Weekends often consisted of cattle branding's or dancing the two-step to a live country band at my uncle's bar or the local community dance hall.

I grew up and moved away from the ten-gallon-hat country western culture. But a little piece of it lived on in me, through my innate attraction to cowboy studs. Not that you'll find me strutting around San Francisco in a cowboy hat or ass-less chaps. (Puhlease, I do have a sense of decency and style!)

 

 

Because of my recent trip to Central Cali (or as I sometimes lovingly call it, Hickville), I felt it was appropriate to honor the American cowboy in this week's post. He's the original archetype of Western ruggedness, self-reliance, and individualism. And, in some cases, it would just be a cryin' shame to prevent you from feasting your eyes on these tall-drinks-of-water.

 

 

 

 

 

And now that you're in the homoerotic cowboy mood, a little quote from the character Jack Twist from everyone's favorite gay cowboy movie:

"Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together, fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that, that's all we got boy, fuckin' all... You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, you son of a whoreson bitch... I wish I knew how to quit you."

 

Until next time, remember: Studies show that a weekly dose of Man Flesh actually improves your heterosexual health!

Friday Night Female Flesh

Because I care more than Fenris, I'm tonight taking the time to showcase some female flesh for the multiculturally sensitive citizens among us.

The girl in the tub here is Wafah Dufour, apparently a niece of Bin Laden.

As part of an effort to distance herself from her massive Saudi family, Dufour appears in a sultry GQ photo spread, reclining on satin sheets wrapped in feathers in one picture and posing in a bubble bath wearing nothing but jewellery in a second.

"I was born in the States and I want people to know I'm American, and I want people here to understand that I'm like anyone in New York. For me, it's home," said Dufour, who took her mother's name after the suicide hijacking attacks that destroyed Manhattan's World Trade Centre.

Not everyone sympathizes with the loose morals of the average New Yorker. Modesty does have it's place,

depending on the context.

Friday Night Female Flesh

The call of duty is like the  call of nature, you gotta go when you gotta go.  It' s because of the call of duty I was stuck in the near wilderness of Eastern Ontario the past 48 hours without Internet access.   I missed the 5000th post and I missed getting some Female Flesh posted before Lisa of *BITCH* sullied the pages of this nobel blog with her "they're so gay Logan approves of them Man Flesh" pictures.  Enough rambling.  I'm still learning Windows Live Writer - - - learning to love it.  Check out the new extra large "big enough for dmorris to see" Flesh pics:

Hail Mitchieville!

Friday Night Female Flesh (With a little Man Flesh)

Okay, I suck.  Last week there was no Friday Night Female Flesh for our legions of readers to ogle.   I tried making up for it on Saturday but it was too late as Lisa had already sullied the fine pages of Mitchieville with gross looking Male Flesh that made me feel uncomfortable when I looked at it.

As bad as I felt about you, the best damn readers on the Internet, I felt worse about my blogger-in-arms Logan.   You see Logan went out and found a couple of all-Canadian themed Flesh pics in honour of our national Victoria Day long weekend.  I will not let my suckiness from last week stop a good post from being posted. Seeing as this weekend is a long weekend state-side and Canadian flesh rocks, why not post that post this week!  I figure I can get away with this as:  a) your just here for the flesh;  b) I have to post something to combat the Man Flesh that Lisa is bound to post.; c)  there is nothing you can do about it anyway. I suppose you could leave Mitchieville and never return but you wouldn't do that would you? 

Here's what Logan had for us:

After Reg posted Canada's own Playmate of the Year last week (found here) and Mitchieville went ga-ga over her, I felt I had to step up my efforts. I knew there must be a semi-famous Canadian male celebrity out there who has also shown some skin.

Imagine my surprise when hottie Shawn Ashmore stripped nekkid and draped himself in the Maple Leaf flag in Cosmo UK recently. You may vaguely recognize Ashmore as the cool stud that played Iceman in the three X-Men movies.

I love it when celebrities show their Canadian pride. Especially when it's hot male Canadian celebrity. And, is it just me, or does it appear that Shawn shaves down there??

Saturday Morning Female Flesh

Tears filled my eyes as I read the comments at Lisa's 'Friday Night Male Flesh' post this morning. Comments like "Where is Reg?", "Has Reg fallen asleep?" stung like needle prick on my delicate skin. The guilt would have be unbearable if not for the fact that yesterday was my birthday and apparently the management of Mitchieville was too busy to send a greeting my way. I loyally slog away at this award winning blog but as soon as I take one night off the taunts and Stalinesque denunciations begin. I assure you all that I was out last night doing what every red-blooded heteronormative Vimy Ridge-Canadian should be doing on a Friday night that also happens to be their birthday day and that is all I have to say about that.

Though I have been victimized by The Mayor and his attack dog Dmorris, for the readers of Mitchieville I have posted some Female Flesh this morning. I stole these pics of Athena from a link at Steamboat McGoo's place. The blue on white and her name would imply that she is Greek and you know what they say about Greek girls, right! Okay, I have no idea what they say about Greek girls and you were right to call me on that. I just can't do anything right for you people can I?

Logan and I have a special post written for this weekend, Canada's first long weekend of the summer, and will get arond to posting it tomorrow sometime. My mommy is making a big supper for me tonight and The Belleville Bulls are playing in The Memorial Cup in Kitchener this weekend. I hope the cruel taunts of The Mayor and Dmorris won't ruin the day for me today...

GO BULLS GO!

I'm No Chair Expert...

but that wood looks like it might be Cherry Wood, perhaps Teak?

Friday Night Man Approved Tattooed Male Flesh

Let's face it: Guys with tattoos are H-O-T. It's not that a tattoo makes an ugly guy hot. But a tattoo does make an average guy sexy and also makes a sexy guy irresistible. A tattoo is a sure-fire way to spot a bad boy. And we all know that bad boys get all the lady lovin' they want.


Oh, the naughty things we want to do to Benjamin. Just look at those steamy, come-hither eyes. They're so inviting. And that booty -- So round and bubbly. Oops, I almost forgot. This is a post about tattoos. Right, right. There it is... Benjamin has a tribal tattoo on his shoulder! See, I knew there was another reason besides that sweet booty to share him with y'all.


Chris is 100% Grade AAA Beef. He's got that cute-but-dumb trailer-park-hick thing going for him. Heck, who needs a guy to be smart, anyway? All a lady (or dude) really needs in a guy is a couple of hot tattoos and a one-track mind. Post-coital pillow talk is sooo overrated.


Alejandro es muy triste. (That means he is very sad.) He's trying to drown his sorrows with bottle after bottle of cerveza. You see, it all started with Maria. She thought a tattoo would be sexy. So he got one for her. Then she started eyeing Alejandro's best amigo Enrique who had two tattoos. So Alejandro got another to win and keep Maria's heart. Then Maria's attention drifted to Juan who had three tattoos. Alejandro knew what he had to do. Finally Alejandro got one too many tattoos and Maria left him. Poor Alejandro. Maybe he needs a buddy's shoulder to cry on...


Hans is a hot German dude who believes tattoos are one's righteous path to heaven. All of his tattoos are inspired by or represent the wings of angels. I don't think JFK quite had Hans in mind when he proclaimed, "Ich bin ein Berliner." Germans is just crazzzy, yo.


Wow. Talk about a tattoo, huh?! Elliott was named after a very special Disney movie. Can you guess which one? To pay homage to his namesake, Elliott decided to take his tattoo to the next level. I can't decide whether I should be turned on and jump Elliott from behind, or if I should be somewhat afraid of the formidable guardian-of-his-behind. If I had a behind that hot, I suppose I'd want something there protecting it too.

Until next time, remember: Studies show that a weekly dose of Man Flesh actually improves your heterosexual health!

Posted by Logan. Or is it Reg pretending to be Logan? Or Logan pretending to be Reg pretending to be Logan? I guess we'll never truly know for sure...

Friday Night Female Flesh - Tattoo You!

BIG NEWS IN MITCHIEVILLE!!!

It's tattoo week at Friday Night Female Flesh this week but my regular post has been altered for the news that Canadian girl Jayde Nicole is the 2008 Playboy Playmate of the Year. It gets better, Jayde is from Mitchieville!

The lovely Jayde was born in Scarborough (a part of Toronto) and grew up in Port Perry. It just so happens that His Worship grew up in Scarborough and the great Fenris Badwulf hangs his hat there these days. The Town of Port Perry, located about 40 minutes east of Toronto and a part of Mitchieville Township, is buzzing with the news that Jayde has been named Playmate of the Year. Imagine the pride when residents learn that Port Perry got mentioned at Mitchieville as well! Jayde was Playmate of the Month in January 2007 and must be a huge Aretha Franklin fan as she has the word "RESPECT" tattooed just above her, ahem, panty line. As it is Tattoo Week at Friday Night Female Flesh, I have a totally 100% NSFW close-up of this respectful tattoo right here. Congratulations to Jayde, The Mayor, his Cabinet, and all of Mitchieville are proud of you.



Here's a few other tattooed laden tarts who can't hold a candle to Mitchieville's homegrown Playmate of the Year but I took the time to find them for this post so what the heck:

Hang Fire

It used to be that Friday was a special day of the week, Friday was Man Flesh\Female Flesh day. Lately it's been Every Day Of The Damn Week Man\Female Flesh. I assure you I have a 'Little T&A' post worthy of the good name of Friday Night Female Flesh ready for tomorrow night.

The post title and the pic below give a hint as to the theme Logan and I came up with for tomorrow night. Until then, check out this review (with podcast)of the new Iron Man movie and keep your stick on the ice.

Friday Night Man Approved 1980's Male Flesh

Ah the 80s. Nothing quite like em, for better and for... well... just for the better. Who can forget the era of cocaine, jazzercise, short shorts (for men and women), heavy metal hair bands, ripped jeans, Madonna, and Michael Jackson (when he was still a normal human from the planet Earth)?

What exactly was it that made a guy hot in the 80s? It's hard to believe when you look back at who the studs of the 80s were. Feathery hairdos, skinny bodies, even skinnier legs, mustaches, and hairy chests. And on occasion, the man perm! Hahahaha. What were the men of the 80s actually thinking getting their hair permed?! Let's just blame it on too much cocaine affecting their reasoning skills.

Everyone remembers the quintessential 80s stud Tom Selleck, or to be more exact Magnum P.I. Hell yes! This guy had it all. He lived on a huge Hawaiian estate and got to drive a Ferrari around all day. He often lounged around topless, showing off that hairy chest that proved he was a virile lady killer. And when he wasn't lounging, solving crimes, or driving fast cars, Magnum would take a dip in the blue Hawaiian ocean as his his ascot-wearing, sexually ambiguous partner in crime Rick watched from the beach. Okay, so Rick was totally gay for Magnum. Am I right, or what?!


Then we have the blond hunk every guy wanted to be, and every woman wanted to be with. John Schnieder aka Bo Duke was a free-wheelin Southern boy with a fast car and a gorgeous blond head of hair. His lanky frame and perfect smile helped him seduce the lady-folk. Bo Duke was a stud among mere mortals. It must have really sucked to be Luke Duke -- always playing second fiddle to his more handsome, blond cousin.







Oh Erik Estrada, or as TV fans lovingly knew him, Ponch Poncherello from CHiPs. Ponch was one of the first Latino male sex symbols. Just look at that photo. It oozes with sex appeal (and maybe a little bit of hair grease too). Ponch wielded a badge, a gun, and a hot motorcycle. And I'm no authority on what women find attractive in a man (Lisa??), but I hear that chicks dig guys on motorcycles. They certainly wanted to ride Ponch's crotch rocket. (Side note: I wonder if that's where the slang term "ponch" came from, meaning big belly?)



And, let us not forget the dreamiest of all the 80s studs, Rob Lowe. Those steamy eyes, the dark features, that lithe body. Rob Lowe was a young stud on his way to fame and fortune. Then he ruined it all by making a sex tape with two girls. Hell, most Hollywood wannabes make sex tapes and leak them on purpose these days, just for the free publicity. But back then, Lowe was committing an uncharted offense. And to make things worse, one of the girls was underage. So, he checked himself into rehab for alcohol abuse and sex addiction. Wow, this guy had some serious problems, right? He was the hottest stud in Hollywood, drank lots of good booze, and got as much poontang (and more) as any guy could ever want. Man, I sure am glad he checked himself into a clinic to cure his illness...

The 80s may have produced some hot studs. But, for the sake of all that is good in this world, may we never revisit the 80s again.

And, until next time, remember: Studies show that a weekly dose of Man Flesh actually improves your heterosexual health! Even 80s retro Man Flesh.


Posted by Logan

Brothers In Arms

Can you guess the common theme from the images below? If you can, then you get a gold star, and you've also guessed Reg and Logan's Friday Night Female/Male Flesh theme for tomorrow night!