The Mitchieville Gun Club Meet and Greet

A little while back I introduced you to the founding members of the Mitchieville Gun Club. We had an informal meet and greet at The Manor on the weekend before hitting the ranges for an afternoon shoot.  The Mayor was pleased to see so many new members that I swear he almost cried.  The last time I saw The Mayor cry was when we rented Old Yeller.  The Mayor gets all weepy when Travis shoots Old Yeller.  Damn dog should've listened. Here's our newest members:

OMMAG likes guns.  OMMAG likes to buy guns.  OMMAG like to buy lots and lots of guns.  OMMAG then likes to mount the newly purchased  guns on his living room wall to spook the couple that just moved in from Newfoundland across the street.  OMMAG likes to BBQ the animals he slays with his many guns.  The City of Winnipeg wishes OMMAG wouldn't hunt at the municipal zoo.

Logan is a solitary lad who survives the mean streets of San Francisco with a small collection of hand guns and 12 a gauge shot gun.  Afraid to leave the safety of his one bedroom basement apartment, Logan passes time by cleaning his kitchen over and over and over again.  Seriously, what kind of single guy keeps a kitchen that clean and maintains such high personal standard of personal grooming? Weird.

This is Ice Princess and her hubby Dark Blue Tory with their two kids (and number three on the way).  They live well north of the urban sprawl that is Toronto because they think they are better than everyone else.  DBT believes in teaching his kids how to handle guns at a small age incase Pierre Trudeau comes back as a zombie and runs against Stephen Harper in the next election.

I really shouldn't brag, but this is me with my new squeeze.  We met about a month ago at a quiet little gun range just North of  Mitchieville Township and love blossomed.  We moved in together over the weekend and everything is sex, guns, working out, and more sex.   Being a physical fitness man like I am, I appreciate her slender physique and athletic build. I make the meals, she polishes the gun.  Does it get any better than this?

Good old Dmorris is a kindly old fellow. When he isn't out walking Poochie or volunteering at the local mall community services counter he can be seen taking pot-shots at the local skate board freaks.  'Crazy Old Man Morris' is what they call him.  Some of his bingo buddies call him 'One Nut Morris'  but that story is for another day. Let's leave Dmorris be so he can get a nap in before lunch time.

Frank from Purple Tory is a handsome young rouge is he not?  When not at school at some privileged East-Coast university, Frank bides his time in Kingston in his job as a "Historical Re-enactment  Entertainer" at Old Fort Henry.  Having little kids wipe ice cream on his scarlet tunic makes Frank angry and at night he takes his frustrations out on the many parolees Corrections Canada lets out every day. Hey Frank, what's in the pizza boxes?

When MUGS  isn't on the hammers or taking pictures of nekkid women at his "private" home photo studio he can be seen hunting on his property.  I see he even has two dogs and a bitch to keep him company.  I suppose I shouldn't make *BITCH* jokes here as it appears that Mrs. Mugs can handle a piece.  A small piece to be sure but what does MUGS care, he's happy as long as she's happy. Now go fetch some critters for supper MUGS!

 

Todd is your typical Aussie punk-ass lay about with a chip on his shoulder.  With his trashy American girlfriend and disturbingly small handgun Todd wastes away the days in a drug fuelled haze of self hate and loathing.  Dirt poor, his "Sheila" makes low cost clothing for the Thai-boys who live across the hall. For entertainment Todd watches Yahoo Serious DVD's on a stolen 10 inch TV.

ENIG-MAC is a man's man if there every was one.  Rugged, good looking and one hell of a shot.  Not only did he shoot the animals mounted on his wall, he gutted them, carried them down a BC mountain, and then jogged back into Vancouver with the stags on his back.   In his spare time, Enig-Mac teaches fire arm safety at the local Public Library and volunteers at the local used battery depot.  Enig-Mac - what a guy!

Hat Tip

Toronto Mayor Wants To Ban Shooting Ranges

In an attempt to curb gun violence on the mean streets of Toronto, Mayor David Miller has proposed having all gun ranges closed down:

"Do we as a society value safety, or do we value a hobby that creates danger?" he asked. "Nobody can deny that hobby directly results in people being shot and killed on the streets of our city. Those are the facts. And they're provable again and again and again."

And if we take away all the cars, we would eliminate drinking and driving. Poof, gone.

The good folks who live in rural communities hear what Miller is saying and simply laugh. They know that if what Miller was saying is true, then the streets of Palmerston and Erin would run red with the blood of gun crime victims. However, although Erin and Palmerston are awash with guns and rifles, there hasn't been a gun murder there in over 150 years. Why? Yes, why indeed?

You have to realize that Miller is not taking his message to the streets of Erin, he's preaching to the choir of Toronto. The majority of the citizens of Toronto really do believe that gun violence is the result of 42 year old white males that go to shooting ranges. When Miller says he wants these ranges closed down, he's not ridiculed by the citizens of Toronto, he's praised, for they have already bought into his message long ago.

Miller will eventually get what he wants, the ranges will get shut down. And when they do, and when gun crime is unchanged, he'll blame the borders patrols for letting in too many illegal guns from the wicked and evil US. And when the border cracks down on illegal weapons and gun crime stays the same, Miller will blame it on inadequate social spending. And when social spending is raised and the gun crime remains unchanged, Miller will blame it on the lack of midnight basketball courts for disadvantaged youth. And when more courts are built and gun crime stays the same, Miller will blame it on systemic racism brought on by years of white privilege. And so on, and so on, and so on.

Believe me, it will never end.

Guns and Butter Report

Wonderful! When you read this, happy workers, you will be resting from your day of labor, drudgery, and humiliation and resting for a fresh day of the same tomorrow when you crawl out from your warm blankets, and go out into the awful Canadian atmosphere to subjugate yourself to more happy taxpaying behaviors.

Getting rich from the Destruction of Ontario's Economy, an investment seminar by Sargon the Magnificent, Financial Astrologer, complete with all you can eat lunch * , occurs daily in your town, at lunch time in the public library. Stuff on all your favorite fast foods and gurgle and slurg flavored iced sugar water. Mmmmmm.

Time Travelling Nazi Scientists do not want another election, says unnamed source. Are you as troubled as I about our failed attempts to obtain more space alien technology than our American neighbors? Demand more Space-Alien Technology hand-outs!

Could it be true that Secret Societies are Inherently Evil, as suggested by this weeks movie of the week on CBC? This state funded masterpiece of crypto-Objectivism raises the important question: Just why is nobody making horror movies with Freemasons in them? What social taboo is being protected here? Is racism, homelessness, or world famine involved?

Good Luck getting to Work tomorrow! Those crazed suicide bomber terrorists you kept telling everyone did not exist, will attack three to five large traffic intersections in Toronto tomorrow at seven in the morning. Where you are at 9:11 am is where you will be until 9:11 pm.

I, Fenris Badwulf, left these scribbled notes on a stained kitchen napkin. Posted at both Mitchieville and DustMyBroom