For The Mayor...

...because we all love him so much.



Tell our Mayor how much you love him in the comments section.

The Mayor Gets Comments

The greatest thing about having one of the top 10 websites in Canada, are the many glorious comments we get from numerous happy readers. And we couldn't be happier with the comment we received today in regard to another award-winning post I wrote just 11 short days ago, entitled, "Toronto Cops Kick The Beans Out Of Chile".

Here's what JOSE CANSECO (and I'm sure it's the real Jose Conseco because he typed his name out in caps) had to say:

UR A FAGGGGGGGG...get ur shit straight...and who uses profanity and bashes others in an article that is Supposedly a "Professional article".

JOSE CANSECO

Putting aside the lack of grammer and diction for a minute, I'd like to address this comment.

I'm not the greatest speller in the world, but I'm pretty sure the word fag doesn't have all those G's in it. Although, maybe JOSE is a street savvy, hip hopping hip hopper. I'm down with that, yo. If, however, you're trying to stress the word fag, I suggest putting in more A's than G's. You see, ggggggggg doesn't really make any sense, where as, many A's really stress the fagadociousness. Say it out loud first, I find that always helps.

I'd like to commend JOSE for spotting a "Professional article" when he sees one, I'm glad he didn't mistake my professional journalistic excellence with some of those other *blogger* types. JOSE, you have a keen eye.

JOSE CANSECO, the one thing I wonder about though, is if you really are JOSE CANSECO, why does your email addy read EMILIO_ESTEVEZ@HOTMAIL>COM. Usually, if I'm not mistaken, there is usually a dot (.) before the com and not a >.

Also, your love for Spanish men is pretty darn special. Using only male Spanish names as your online pseudonym is quite impressive, and telling. Good job.

JOSE CONSECO, thank you for your comment. I HOPE YOU LEAVE MORE OF THE THEM IN THE FUTURE.

The Mayor Gets Comments

13 months or so ago, I wrote an award-winning post entitled, "Is Victoria Beckham Too Thin?" (to which the answer was a resounding no). I received a comment today which I am going to post in its entirety. The poster of note is very upset with me, as you will see. She goes by the very urban name of Shayera, and she seems to be the conscience of the USA. Here goes:

Oh my lord you are hilarious! And not in a good way. You're ridiculous. It's people like you that ruin america and poor girls self image. I am neither fat nor stupid. You prove your idiocy by calling your member a bone. UM! NOT A BONE JACKASS!!!! Why do you think it falls off when you die?! Idiot. Most NORMALY men like a woman with curves. Not her collar bone protruding through her neck. She's freakin skinnier than Sporty Spice, the skinniest of the 5! Anything I say will just go straight through your empty head i know it. You're disgusting. It's laughable. There's no talking to complete airheads like you... but i just had to say my peace. Now then, why don't you have a bunch of drinks and then drive home eh? Do us all a favour and drive off a cliff.

On behalf of all the citizens of Mitchieville, and myself, I would first like to apologize to every person in the United States of America. I didn't know that I was having such a negative effect on your wonderful country. I'd also like to apologize to Shayera, I didn't mean to rattle your cage so much, that was bad and careless of me, I ask your forgiveness.

Shayera, when I read your comment, the first thing that popped into my mind was how good the American educational system must be. You are obviously a very well read young lady, I'd go as far as guessing you are an honour student. When I see wordsmiths like yourself making a point like you did, I whisper to myself that America is going to be okay.

Shayera, I know this may sound a tad bit forward, but I'm also guessing that you are as beautiful as you are smart. I'd also guess that your mom hardly took any acid at all when she was pregnant with you, your brother LaShawn, your other brother LaDelle, and your sister LaFonda. I hope one day you get reunited with your father, if he said he's just going to get some smokes and he'll be back in a minute, then keep the candle in the window burning.

Shayera, you mentioned that you "Are neither fat nor stupid". Well, I've figured out that you are certainly not stupid, now let's work on your *non-fatness*. When I mentioned that Victoria Beckham had a perfect body, I didn't mean to insult you. You said that most *Normaly* men like a woman with curves. That's true, men do like curves. Unfortunately, you seem to have mistaken what men like (curves) to what you have (circles).

Shayera, I'm completely serious when I say I have plenty of female friends who have different types of bodies. I have friends who are skinny like Posh. I have friends that are medium size like Hillary Duff. I also have very fat friends who are about your size. My point is, they are all the same under the skin. Even in your case with all that flappy skin.

I'm glad you were able to say your *peace*, Shayera. You have made your point crystal clear. From here on in, I am a changed man. I will no longer look admirably towards skinny women any more, from now on you can consider me a chubby chaser. Better get waddling, Sheyera, I might catch you.

The Mayor Asks...

Why do birds suddenly appear, when you're near?