Cartwheels & Handstands Banned in Australian School

To be fair, they have only been banned in a primary school in North Queensland. I suppose that means South, East and West Quennsland are off the hook for now, as well as high school and university students:

Belgian Gardens State School in Townsville has banned all gymnastics activities during lunch breaks, declaring it dangerous because it has the potential to cause back and neck injuries.

"The issue around the gymnastics is around the safety of the kids and it was not motivated by any concept of litigation, but certainly [by] that safety and well-being component of those kids when we're talking heads and necks and potentially backs if there were an injury."

This is probably not a bad idea when you think about it. I remember the injuries I caused by doing cartwheels when I was a little boy, believe me, it was terrible. I was at a puppy mill, and my friend dared me to strap five 12" Ginsu knives to each foot and three to each hand and do cartwheels through the puppy mill as the little darlings slept. Well, I never turn down a dare, so I strapped on the knives and started doing cartwheels. I guess it was all the yelping and crying that made me fall, and when I hit the ground I started to roll around out of control. My legs and hands were flying everywhere, the fur got in my eyes and this made me roll around even more. By the time it was over it was a fucking bloodbath. I remember the medics came in and started vomiting.

Don't get upset at my story, the dogs in question were those little yappy poodles and shit, not cool dogs like shepherds or retrievers. Oh, and I was fine, just a little shaken up.

So ya, cartwheels are pretty bad when used for evil and not good, therefore we should ban them to hell.