American Gangs Baptize Their Babies In Gang Fashion

Brought to you by the various gangs of the USA, and sure to be coming to a barrio, hood, or shanty-town near you, is the ever-so-popular baby baptizing:

Before they can even speak, some of these tots can flash their signs and are adorned with gang colors and accouterments.

Blood parents call their offspring Blood drops, stains, or rims.

Iron, a Latin King baby daddy, describes his sons baptismal:

"It's like a christening," he said. "The priest holds the baby and we say our prayer at the same time. We have to have the window open and the baby pointed toward the sun."

Once blessed, the child is given yellow beads - the gang's color.

"He's a true gangster. The way he acts with people, the way he just wants to beat you up and punch you," Iron said of the 4-year-old "Latin Prince" he hopes will preach peace within the gang.

The first child Iron baptized, though, was killed in a drive-by at age 2; Iron says he was the target.

See ladies, not all the good men are taken.

As with my Irish tradition, we did something similar as what the gangs of the USA do, but instead of holding the baby up to the sky and recite a prayer, we would just set the child on fire and roll him/her down the aisle. If the baby lived, we would have to kill it, because let's face it, any baby that can survive being set on fire and tossed down an aisle must be satanic. Haha, we Irish, we so keraaaazy.

Hey, stop criticizing me. Remember, there is not one culture that is better than any other culture.

What's your sign?