Caretaker Sues Over Ladder Accident

A school caretaker who fell off a 6' ladder is suing his employer, claiming that he wasn't properly trained in the art of ladder climbing:

Anthony Gower-Smith says his bosses did not show him how to use the 6ft ladder safely, although he admits using others for at least 30 years without mishap.

Mr Gower-Smith, 73, fell while removing a card display and staples from a wall.

He fractured his skull, broke a cheekbone, split a kidney and spent time in the intensive care unit in nearby Southampton General Hospital.

I know it may seem excessive, suing his employer for so much money, but I can sympathise with him, for I had a similar mishap a few years ago. I had not been trained on how to operate a stapler, and I managed to staple my face to a urinal in the teachers lounge.

I successfully sued for over 75 million dollars, however, I still hurt to this day. My face looks like a dartboard and whenever I laugh, the creases in my face open up and trickles of blood drip into my food products. Sure, laugh all you want, but until you can walk a mile in my urine-soaked shoes, I suggest you keep your mockish tone to yourself.

Climbing the ladder to financial freedom...