The Tampon Shooter--You Have Been Warned

I'm often asked by quite a few Mitchievillian's, which will be my weapon of choice when the inevitable Canadian invasion of the United States occurs. Generally I don't like to talk about things like that, but after I read the news tonight and found out that the American congress have voted to admit defeat to a bunch of rag-tag illiterate camel jockeys, I figured it doesn't matter what I say or do to America, it's not like they have any will whatsoever to fight back. When half their population are cowards and defeatists, what difference does it make what I say, they'll just cower and hide and call me a freedom fighter as I jam the end of a rifle down their traitorous throats.

Anyway, no need for guns or bullets, or even rocks and elastic bands, my new weapon of choice to defeat the evil Americans is the Tampon gun.

I found a great site that told me how to build one, and I couldn't be happier. It's simple, especially if you have a university degree in engineering like I do. Except, take out the word degree and put in the word *Friend*.

Generally, you would fill the tampon gun with red ink for full tampon effect, but seeing as 50% of Americans, and every single Democratic Senator and Congressmen are lily-livered skulkers, I'll fill it with yellow paint. Yes, yellow is the color of the enemy of my enemies.