This week brought to you by the Scripps National Spelling Bee

Evan M.O'Dorney 13, who won this year's championship by correctly spelling the winning word "truck", has graciously agreed to be here and help me out on this weeks Blog.

Coming out of the closet

So David Hyde Pierce is gay huh?........yup........OK, what's next?

A-Rod an A-Hole

A-Hole....Capitol A...hyphen....

Not yet Evan.

Sorry.

If it wasn't bad enough the ubiquitous Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees.......I said the ubiquitous Alex Rodriguez, Evan.....

Oh....ubiquitous.....U-B-I-Q-U-I-T-O-U-S

Very good Evan. Now go back into your coma.

The ubiquitous A-Rod was seen with a mysterious blonde woman gallivanting around Toronto this week while his wife and 2-and-a-half-year-old daughter remained in New York. Then A-Rod pulled another Bush League move, breaking baseball's unwritten code, by yelling "Mine!" and distracting a Toronto infielder which allowed a ninth-inning popup to fall for a run-scoring single.

Troy Glaus, Toronto's regular third baseman, said the last time he saw that move was in the baseball comedy "Major League 2."

What's next for A-Rod? A terrorist plot against the Mets I'll bet?

The bigger they are

Doesn't really matter because, now there's a catalogue that acquiesces.....

Acquiesces.....A-Q-U-I-E-S-C-E-S

....to the obese American who is living larger virtually every day.

At first glance, the catalog's pitch for lawn chairs appears ordinary: A seated man and woman relax near a tree-lined lake shore, enjoying drinks.


But look closer. "Supports up to 800 lbs," reads the text next to the man's $139.95 lawn chair.

Flip deeper into the catalog, and the products get even more specialized, such as a "Big John" toilet seat with a 1,200-pound capacity - "larger than any other toilet seat in the world" - priced at $124.95.

The products are in "LivingXL," an online and print catalog launched in May by the parent company of Casual Male XL, the nation's largest chain of men's plus-size clothing and apparel stores. Casual Male Retail Group hopes to parlay the marketing know-how from its 500 stores into the largely untapped market for specialty products that make life easier for the growing population of obese men and women.

A monster of a sighting

An amateur scientist has captured what Loch Ness Monster watchers say is among the finest footage ever taken of the elusive mythical creature reputed to swim beneath the waters of Scotland's most mysterious lake.

"I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this serendipitous jet black thing...."

Serendipitous....S-E-R-E-N...

Evan let the guy talk.........ya little bastard.

"about 45-feet (15 meters) long, moving fairly fast in the water," said Gordon Holmes, the 55-year-old lab technician from Shipley, Yorkshire, who took the video this past Saturday.



Sorry...the real video was just too boring. The real vid is here if your suffering from insomnia.

Coming in 3's
3 summer jobs I wouldn't want:

1. Iraqi Policeman
2. Pool boy for George Takei
3. Personal boil sucker for Rosie O'Donnell

3 people I wouldn't want to be:

1. An Ottawa Senators fan
2. Paris Hilton's cellmate
3. Paparazzi for Charles Nelson Reilly

3 items I wouldn't want to be:

1. A-Rod's wife's wedding ring
2. Lindsay Lohan's panties- cause she never wears them.
3. A toilet seat capable of supporting 1,200 lbs.

I read the news today oh-boy

Another milestone has passed as Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band celebrated its 40th anniversary this week..........What was that David Hyde Pierce thing again?

Extra Extra

Over the past few weeks there have been so many stories worthy of ridicule, yet no time or space to present them all. However, I will endeavor

Endeavor....E-N-D-E.....

Shut up Even!

I will endeavor to present most of them now in case you missed any.

Charles Manson was denied parole yet again, which was a shame because he really was looking forward to attending the Starwars 30th anniversary with a big breasted German woman who had just been fired from her job for continuous breast augmentation.

Augmentation...A-

Evan! What did I say?.......fuckin' kids!

Arnold Schwarzenegger who visited Toronto this week said Manson may be out in time to see The Adams Family Musical, which could star Jon Lovitz who was given a life time contract by the Laugh Factory to perform every Wednesday, or until Barbara Streisand cancels her next concert in Rome.

Thanks once again or our special guest, Spelling Bee Champion Evan....

Yeah....Whatever.....old man.

Truth is stranger than Strange