The legend of Irish food

It's a well-known fact that Irish people like things simple… simple as you can get 'em in fact, like Bono economics f'r instance, begorrah. Irish cuisine, for another example, is exceedingly simple and hasn't changed for thousands of years since the time of the Fomorians (actually Pomeranians, but the Irish are always mixing up their fricatives and plosives). Even to this day, the Irish eat only three simple things that don't require any culinary skills or even a cookbook: potatoes, boiled and sometimes with a little grass thrown in for seasoning, Irish stew made with traditional formed meat chunks (from the Irish Formed Meat Beast), and Irish Soda Bread. (Irish babies, of course, are strictly an export commodity for the bloody English baronial market.)

Experts on Ireland — namely, Paddy and Dougall over there in the pub's corner seats — do not agree on the origins of Irish fondness for simplicity, but a popular theory suggests that because Irish people can't understand a single word they're saying in either Gaelic or English, only simple and visually recalled information can be passed on. Sure, it's a sufferin' yoke-eh-me-bob, but yer aul Granny knows it's the rale ally-daly, la la.

Irish Soda Bread is an especially important component of the Irish diet, not only because it is simple to make but because it's an important preparation for soaking up and warding off the worst effects of potato cider, potato beer and potato whiskey, so it's obviously eaten several times a day. If yer Granny's gone and yer've not got 'alf an Age yerself, the recipe's over at Lisa's Culturally Diverse Kitchen. Go check it out, it's a luvly Mary Hicks hurdlin' an'll put the mockers on ya right.