Kevin And Britney Reach a Deal

Kevin Federline and Britney Spears have reached an agreement over their split. All in all, it's going to cost Britney about 13 million:

A 2004 prenup called for K-Fed to get $250,000 for each year of their marriage, but Spears upped that figure to $500,000 to speed up the negotiations.

He receives half the proceeds from their Malibu mansion, which is on the market for $13.5 million.

Spears will pay $25,000 a month in child support for each of the couple’s two children until they reach 18. He also gets custody of the boys four days a week.

Federline gets to keep all the gifts Spears bought them during their marriage.

He’s forbidden from writing a tell-all about their marriage.

The joke's on Federline, Britney gets to keep all his wife beater shirts and the banjo.

I can't say I'm not jealous of Federline right now, because I'm extremely jealous of him right now. Everyone knows that could have been me receiving that $13 million buckaroonies. Everyone knows that could have been me getting mad amounts of child support payments every month.

And you know, if it wasn't for the oath I took refusing to give anal to bald, psychopathic hillbillies, it would have been me.

$13 million is going to buy alot of bisquits and grits