Human Rights Spotlight

Let us just call him Fred. Poor Fred. Fred is a victim, ignored by society and shut out of the welfare system. Fred suffers from Multiple Addictive Disorder (MAD for short). Nobody cares about Fred, not his social worker, his social skills tutor, his literacy advocate, his parole officer, or his civil rights lawyer.

Fred gets a meagre monthly amount from social assistance, but it is not enough for him to feel accepted by mainstream society. The food bank is far away and is only open Monday to Saturday, from 8am to 8pm. Fred's main source of protein, sperm, has dried up now that he is too old to work as a male prostitute. Some kind people give him clothes, food, housing, and free parking, but never enough for him to build his dream of being a concert pianist. Every time someone gives him a free tank of gas, they are just building up a burden of false hope for Fred.

Forced by greedy taxpayers who withold what is his entitlement, Fred would like to try begging to give him a few luxuries in life, like filter cigarillos and a daily mocha latte. But the other beggars are mean to Fred. They have beggar privilege, and Fred does not. You see, Fred is too big to be a beggar: he is five foot ten.

Fred does what he has to do to survive in the cold, uncaring and mean city of Toronto. He can sell the vitamin B he gets for his hepatitis. He can work cash jobs as kitchen help. When the yeast infection in his rectum stops dripping, he can sit down long enough in a sqooshy diaper to be a telemarketer. But he cannot ask for spare money from people. For Fred, the answer is No!

Have you noticed that pretty well all of the beggars in Toronto are white? Why is that? What is Stephen Harper trying to hide? The few aboriginals who stagger around, pretending to be drunk, are obviously Conservative Party Operatives, seeking to reinforce sterotypes. But where are the other village peoples?

Fred has the answer: small white privilege. Small white men control begging in Canada, as they have since the mangrove forests of Alberta were clear cut to make kindling for Global Warming. Time to wake up, poverty activists. Short white men are disproportionately represented ... the certain footprint of racism ... beggar hatred, straight from the darkest ages of Christian oppression.

Fred needs your help. He needs your spare money so he can feel accepted. As you read this, Fred is crying. If you love Fred, even if he has an oozing rectum, hepatitis, and an extensive criminal record as a duck rapist, then take out your wallet and send me your money. We can help Fred together. We can put a smile on Fred's face. Please, send me your money.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

CP avec Dust My Broom