Hold the Pickle, Hold the Lettuce, Hold the Bean Sprouts

There are six things in this world that makes the Mayor extremely happy: Watching The Little Danish Girl come out of the shower, toweling off The Little Danish Girl, snapping the towel on The Little Danish Girl's ass, kissing The Little Danish Girl's welted ass, the inevitable *I'm sorry for snapping that towel on your ass, now let's bumpum*, and McDonald's fries. Now McDonald's has decided that they're going to mess with their fries, making them less salty:

In Ireland the fast-food chain is reducing the salt in its french fries by 50%, a level that could be replicated in the UK. The company will also reduce the levels of trans-fats contained in the vegetable oil it uses to 0%. Both changes will take effect in a "matter of weeks", according to the company.

Have the good folks at McDonald's lost their collective minds? They have completely changed their menu in the last few years to cater to the healthy eating crowd instead of my crowd: the guys and girls that cherish trans-fat and salty foods. Now, McDonald's resembles a place where people that eat spinach wraps and bean salads hang out. And that is not cool.

McDonald's fries are the best because of their saltyness, they're the best because they're terrible for you. No one in their right mind eats at McDonald's because they're conscientious about their eating habits, they eat at McPukes to get rid of hangovers and to add 9 billion calories to their fat body. A word of wise to McDonald's: Stop fucking around and leave the fries alone. Health conscious people don't pay the bills, fat people pay the bills.

Don't say I didn't warn you

Thanks to Attu Sees All