Richard Hatch to do Time

Survivor winner, Richard Hatch, was found guilty of tax evasion today, and was given 51 months in jail:

"There's no nice way to say it: Mr. Hatch lied," Torres said, later adding that Hatch took a serious offense and made it worse by offering deliberately false testimony.

When Hatch was convicted, Torres said he expected to sentence him to 33 months to 41 months. Instead, he gave him 51 months.

This is terrible news for Richard Hatch. Now Richard is going to have his poo cutter assaulted by giant men, abusing his person, they will be having hard, rough sex with him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Actually, I guess that really isn't such bad news for Richard Hatch.

Richard is just another name for Dick