Happy Baby Momma Day-2005

I'm not in the habit of posting old material, but I was looking at last years Happy Baby Momma post and I thought it was funny enough to re-post. You can really feel my love seep out to all the baby momma's in it.

Happy Baby Momma day. For me, baby momma day is the most exciting day of the year, I relish it, I eat it up. I love both my momma's, I love my secondary momma as much as I love my baby momma. I'm not adopted, I just happen to have two, count 'em, two baby momma's.

I also want to wish all the single baby momma's a Happy Baby Momma day. Single momma's are the most under-appreciated group of peoples in our society. Single baby momma's are responsible for cranking out 78% of all Canadian children, yet they receive zero shout outs for all their hard work. This will change, so help me God this will change.

It can't be easy being a single baby momma baby mill. Not unlike a puppy mill, single baby momma's work under horrendous conditions and have an intense schedule to keep. Pumping out babies left, right, and center is a job for seasoned, grizzled veterans. It takes a special soul to become a baby momma baby mill, not every woman can handle the responsibilities.

For instance, when the *baby momma allowance cheque* comes in at the end of every month, they have to co-ordinate receiving the cheque, cashing it at the Cash and Dash, making a stop at the dealers house, grabbing a cab to the beer store AND the liquor store, get home, get dolled up, hit the bar, and make it home with a drunk guy in tow, all before 3 in the A.M. so they can pay the babysitter. Hard work.

If you think it is easy to spit out 4 or 5 kids with different fathers, then you simply have no idea what kind of work that entails. Think of the endless days spent in the Provincial courts, waiting for the Judge to call your name from the docket, always hoping that baby #5's daddy is a rich man, rich enough to supply you with a never ending supply of Pina Colada's. Hard work.

It can't be easy being a single baby momma. I've been to quite a few single baby momma's houses in my time, and I can tell you that they are so busy every day that they find it near impossible to find the time to even clean their own house. Do you really think they want to live like rats? Do you really think they find pleasure in allowing their children to run around the neighborhood like a bunch of Gypsy's? Do you really think single baby momma's like having to roll their own doobs and popping a hole in their own crack can? Hard work.

Single baby momma's also have to work very hard preparing themselves for the local bar every night. It takes so much work and preparation to look just right. Should I wear purple eye shadow with ruby red lip stick? Should I wear high heels with a mini skirt? Decisions Decisions. I've even seen cases where some baby momma's have such an impossible decision on who to take home from the bar, that they just break down and end up taking a few guys back with them. More babies, more fun.

I was just talking to my single baby momma friend last night, momma of 5, and she told me she has yet another bun in her stretched oven. I asked her if she has a vagina anymore, or is it now just called a clown car. Even single baby momma had a laugh at that one. God Bless her soul.

To all the momma's out there today, and especially to all the single baby momma's, this is your day, enjoy the hell out of it.