Pearls From Paris

Whenever I'm having a bad day, all it takes for me to cheer up are a few words from this delicate little rose-petal:

The blonde socialite - renowned for her love of partying - likes the way she looks when she sparks up a cigarette.

She said: "Smoking is so sexy.

"It's like so cool how you all smoke everywhere in the UK."

I know that most of you have just read that quote and are now saying to yourself what a complete idiot Paris Hilton is, and although she is most of the time, this time she's actually correct.

I love women smokers, they're as sexy as hell. Granted, women are only sexy when they smoke up to the age of about 25. After that, their voices start sounding like a DJ at any stripper bar, all raspy and throaty. But young smokers? Sexy.As.Hell.

Maybe I find they're so sexy because I know if I ever dated them that they would be dead in a decade or so and I'd collect the insurance, I'm not sure. Although, I think I find them sexy because they look so fucking cool and mature. Oh ya, and so slutty. Young girls that smoke look like little sluts, and to me, that's a fantastic look.

I know that most of you don't smoke, and smoking probably disgusts you, but I have scientific proof that women who smoke tend to drink more, and women that drink more tend to pass out more. And women that tend to pass out more tend to have sex with older guys that have fetishes about young sluts that smoke. I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.

Anyway, Paris is right, long live smoking sluts.

Oh Paris, lead us to the promised land