Good For What Ails Ya

Move over ether and a rag, pappa got a new drug:

Horn of rhinoceros. Penis of tiger. Root of sea holly. Husk of the emerald-green blister beetle known as the Spanish fly. So colourful and exotic is the list of substances that have been claimed to heighten sexual appetite that it is hard not to feel a twinge of disappointment on first beholding the latest entry - a small, white plastic nasal inhaler containing an odourless, colourless synthetic chemical called PT-141. Plain as it is, however, there is one thing that distinguishes PT-141 from the 4,000 years' worth of recorded medicinal aphrodisiacs that precede it: this one actually works.

And it could reach the market in as little as three years. The full range of possible risks and side effects has yet to be determined, but already this much is known: a dose of PT-141 results, in most cases, in a stirring in the loins in as little as 15 minutes. Women, according to one set of results, feel 'genital warmth, tingling and throbbing', not to mention 'a strong desire to have sex'.

Maybe this is just the penis of tiger talking, but this stuff sounds great.

Do you want to know what else causes "genital warmth, tingling and throbbing' in a woman's loins? So do I, so if you figure it out, email me.

It is impossible that anything bad can come of this. Imagine if you will, the perfect scenario: A rolled up newspaper, a taser gun, 2 gallons of PT141, a 6 pack of Viagra, and copious amounts of booze. Let the games begin.

I'm telling you right now, The Little Danish girl will be walking on crutches after this stuff is released to the general public.

It hurts so good