Mrs. Canada Responds

On Monday, May 8, I wrote an award winning piece entitled, *Mrs. World is a Fraud*. The post stated, through Globe and Mail *Fact*, that Mrs. Canada, Nicole Mackoway, said that "Mr. Russia bought the crown for his wife".

I thought it had to be true, as I found it hard to believe that some commie broad was voted better looking than our own beautiful Canadian woman. But lo and behold, I received a comment on that post from no other than Nicole Mackoway herself:

I wish the media would just stop talking about this already! I just made a side comment and everyone takes it as though I really care...which I don't! This pageant was a trip to Russia for me, nothing more.

Nicole, I'd like to give you a word of advice: If you want the media to stop talking about this, you shouldn't leave comments on peoples sites like mine who get close to 3 million hits a day. I guarantee, Nicole, that by the time you open your gorgeous eyes tomorrow morning, that this post will be splattered all over the Toronto Star, the Sun, the Globe and Mail, and Neale News. The CBC, CTV, and Global will be camped out at your door, and tents will be set up on your lawn. You have unleashed a firestorm.

Don't fret though, sunshine, for The Mayor can help you. Nicole, I am willing to kill everyone that bothers you, if you just get rid of your husband and your children. I don't mean you have to do anything terrible to them, just make them go away so we can live together, like the way God intended it to be.

Nicole, I'll be honest with you, Mitchieville has many famous peoples that grace these pages every day, I am, after all, a very important person. Yet, Nicole, I am willing to give it all up if you just get rid of your baggage. Forget the pageants, forget the dirty commie that stole your precious crown, there is only me and you left.

Make it happen, baby girl.