Cruise, Holmes Have Baby

Finally, I've been waiting years for the seventh sign of the apocalypse:

LOS ANGELES - The Tomkitten has arrived. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, the high-profile pair dubbed TomKat by the media, had a baby girl Tuesday, said Cruise spokesman Arnold Robinson. The baby, named Suri, weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 20 inches long, he said.

The name Suri has its origins in Hebrew, meaning "princess," or in Persian, meaning "red rose," the statement said.

No word on whether Tom ate the placenta, the baby, or both.

Details to follow.

Sacrifice the child to Xenu